Toddler Vomit: the good, the bad, and the ugly

I have vomitophobia. I just made that word up but what I mean is that the thought of throwing up is totally repellent to me, and the act of throwing up is emotionally scarring. For this reason I do not drink heavily or do anything else which might lead to me throwing up. Unfortunately...

Having a kid means vomiting is inevitable. First it is inevitable for you, the parent. Let me describe my situation to you like this. In the ten years before I had my son I got sick with a virus (cold, stomach virus, etc.) maybe once a year, let's say ten times total in ten years. In the two years since my son entered the world I have probably had ten colds and three stomach viruses. And these stomach viruses were not the "oh my stomach is a little queasy I'm not going to eat for a while" variety. They were the "my body is forcibly ridding itself of all fluids, retching in the toilet for hours on end" variety. At one point when my son was just a month old I remember being unable to sleep for a whole night because I had to throw up literally every 20-40 minutes, fortunately I was able to breastfeed between the nastiness.

The good news about my vomitophobia, it only applies to my own vomit. I hate throwing up personally, but life with a toddler has taught me that I am not afraid, appalled, or made nauseaus by other people's vomit, at least not my son's. He only threw up twice in his first two years. Both times I did not even know about it until the next morning. On both occasions I went to get my son up in the morning and found him sleeping in a mess of vomit with it encrusted in his beautiful hair. Saddest sight ever. There were no screams of pain in the night so my husband and I had no clue there was a problem. On both occasions I felt terrible that my son was sleeping in vomit, but he woke up chipper and happy pretty much acting like it was no problem. Those occasions were really no big deal.

Then we had the norovirus go around this January and it was a nasty mess. So I'm going to take this opportunity to relate my experience and offer some commiseration and advice to other parents.

What I learned from my two year old with norovirus:

The good: My son was not acting like he was in pain, he did not seem particularly disturbed by vomiting, although he was sad. He just kept pointing to the piles of vomit and going "a mess, a mess" (a phrase he hears often in our house). Also good, the whole vomiting escapade only lasted about 4-5 hours (a really long time while it's happening but in the grand scheme of things not bad).


The bad: I have learned that the onset of a stomach virus is unpredictable (see above about finding my son sleeping in vomit). With the norovirus we were out at a playground at about 5pm, my son had already been there about 30 minutes, he was running on top of the play structure over to a slide and all of a sudden I heard a yucky sound and then I could not see his little head anymore. Went up to find him and found him next to a pile of vomit. Picked him up to comfort him and he immediately threw up again, I managed to sort of lean over with him so that it mainly hit the wooden play structure and not me. Also bad, how do you clean vomit off a wooden play structure while dealing with a confused and sick toddler? Thank you to the stranger who offered to scoop up some sand from the playground and pour it over the vomit so that I could deal with my now very sad son and so that other kids did not slip and slide in it (wouldn't the other parents love me then!). Also bad, if you happen to be out and about when your child is sick getting them home may be unpleasant. We had walked 15 minutes to the playground with the stroller, my son was very sad and feeling yucky so he refused to sit in the stroller on the way home. Which meant I carried my vomit covered toddler home hoping strangers did not look too closely at us, or if they did they felt pity and not revulsion.

The ugly: Sick toddlers are messy, vomit machines. And I am not talking about gentle vomiting, I am talking about projectile vomiting the likes of which I had only ever seen in cartoons and movies before the norovirus. I am guessing sick babies are sadder, but perhaps easier since they do not have the mobility to run around the house vomiting and their diets are pretty simple. I am guessing that older kids are easier because they can follow directions to throw up into the trash can or toilet, I remember doing that as a kid. Also hopefully they can give you a heads up when their stomach starts to feel bad. Sick two year olds, at least my son, can neither tell you what is happening nor follow directions about damage control. My poor son only wanted me to hold him to comfort him. So that meant despite my best efforts I was thrown up upon several times. By the time my husband was able to get home and help there were pools of vomit around the apartment my son was totally naked and I was down to my underwear.

What I learned for future vomitscapades:
1. If possible make the sick toddler sit on the floor or on a trash bag or something easy to clean (cleaning vomit off couch cushions really sucks believe me)
2. You might as well get your kid undressed if they'll let you and get yourself into clothes you don't care about right away, it will save a lot of laundry. I spent most of that night on the floor with my son with a blanket wrapped around him.
3. If your kid demands to be held try to lean into the vomit thereby ensuring that most of it falls on the ground or the receptacle you are strategically trying to place under their head.
4. Vomit comes at intervals (for us about 20-30 minutes between pukes) so be prepared and get situated. If your kid just vomited you probably have time for a quick bath or sponge down. If it's been 15 minutes it's time to get a trash can, paper towels, and wipes ready. If it's been 45-50 minutes you are probably in the clear and can get them dressed again.

P.S. for those who are interested and per Wikipedia, there is actually a term for people afraid of vomit: Emetophobia. Anyone else in the emetophobia club?

Any other vomit-seasoned parents have words of advice that they would like to add?

Toddler rainy day activities: SesameStreet.org

Okay, since leaving San Diego with it's 364 annual days of sunshine I have had to deal with a totally foreign issue: how to entertain my toddler on rainy days.

Now I don't live in Seattle, but it's rainy enough in the Bay Area that this has become an issue. Coupled with the fact that I have a very very active boy who is not the type of entertain himself for more than five minutes at a time this problem has forced me to be more creative.

It was raining earlier this week and we stumbled onto SesameStreet.org. To my son with his "O" (short for Elmo) obsession this website is like manna from heaven. They even have a playlist that is all Elmo so your toddler does not have to face the frustration of being deprived of this red furry monster for even a moment.

One of the cool things we found was a virtual coloring book that allows you to print blank pages to color in, or color them in online with their brush tool. Since it was Valentine's Day we made this little picture.

Made by a two year old, with a little help.

Of course even Sesame Street and Elmo only entertain for so long. Some other things my son enjoys are playing with stamps, "coloring" in his coloring book, finger painting, helping me do laundry, helping me cook, and of course zooming around on his ride-on McQueen car, and watching the movie Cars whenever I let him. I would love to hear from parents of other toddlers (preferably toddlers who are not big at playing by themselves) on how they make the hours pass on those long rainy days.

Crappy Pictures - Parenting blog extraordinaire

I have not had much time for writing my own blog posts lately, but I have been looking at an excellent blog  that one of my best friends and mommy mentors referred me to: Crappy-Pictures.

Here are two excellent and hilariously true posts:
1. Why moms are like rock stars!
2. Why moms needs drugs (of the coffee and wine variety)

This mom is seriously creative and her whole blog is filled with crappy pictures to illustrate her humorous reflections.

Long boring day at work? Kids napping or otherwise giving you a few minutes of downtime? Check it out for a smile.

Gotta Love The Onion

Area Dad Figures He's Got At Least Three More Months Of Screwing Around Before Son Gains Ability To Form Long-Term Memories

Yeah, I've thought the same thing from time to time!

Toddler phone apps

So I'm not a big fan of handing my toddler my smartphone, simply because he has a knack for breaking things in the blink of an eye. However, there are times that I am desperate to keep him entertained and the phone has been invaluable. I'm thinking in particular of the tortuously long plane rides from West coast to East coast and a few long road trips.

Here are the top three apps my two year old son loves:

1. Toddler Zoo ($0.99)
With this app kids swipe side to side to see images of different animals, they can click on the animals name to hear the name spoken, or tap anywhere on the screen to hear the sound that animal makes - endless fun.

2. Talking Tom (Free)
This app has a cutesy looking cat that mimics everything your toddler says in a high squeaky funny cat voice. He also has some funny antics that make my son smile.

3. Ethereal Dialpad (Free)
This app looks boring from the image, but every since my son was a baby he has loved it. You choose different synthesizer options (like swarm pictured below) and as your fingers goes across the screen the light particles dance in response and it emits different musical notes .

Does anyone else have good recommendations for apps that a two year old would like and would hopefully make a six hour flight pass a little quicker?

Baby Registry Basics

I remember when I was pregnant feeling overwhelmed by the task of creating a baby registry. Now that my son is 2 years old I can look back and say that certain items were indispensable and others useless. I have already sent out a modified version of this list to several friends facing the daunting task of being a first time parent deciding what you need/want for your baby.

All of the things on this list I found very useful. All babies are different, but if you are looking for suggestions this may be a helpful place to start. If you have tons or money or tons of spaces you could add lots of items to this list, but I think of these as the essentials.

1. Baby Carriers/Baby Wearing: I think baby carriers are a must have and need to be top of the list (especially if you have a colicky or high needs newborn). I used a Moby Wrap almost non-stop during the newborn months (see my review here). I loved the Moby, although I never could figure out how to breastfeed in it. Another great carrier that is worth it's weight in gold is the Ergo (see more on baby wearing and the Ergo in this older blog post). I did not use the Ergo with my newborn, so I can not vouch for how that works. But starting at about 4 months it was a lifesaver.

Baby carriers are a hot topic and it is worth looking at all the options besides the standard Baby Bjorn, which is reputedly back for parent's backs and baby's too. TheBabyWearer is a great website with tons of baby carrier recommendations. Unfortunately a lot of the best carriers are not available at Target or BabiesRUs (the most popular baby registry stores), but it is worth looking elsewhere like Diapers.com. Also beware many of the carriers stocked by these chains are uncomfortable, unsafe, or too expensive and not very effective.

My son when he was 7 months old in our SweetPea Ring Sling.

The ring sling is the one I would recommend for the newborn period offering the best combination of comfort and ease of breastfeeding while carrying - the only disadvantage is that Dad's may think it looks girly and be less inclined to use it!

2. Bouncer: A simple bouncer is priceless, and we used to carry it around the house from room to room (sometimes while our son was asleep inside it). For the first few months our baby slept a lot in his bouncer even at night. We had the cheapest Fisher Price bouncer that had a vibrate mode and it worked fine for our purposes. We could even swaddle our son and strap him in to sleep when he was a newborn. Bouncers can get very fancy and pricey, as can swings. But for most purposes the simplest one is as good as the one with all the doodads.

3. Strollers: Instead of getting a stroller. We got a base that the carseat just straps into. Most models of infant car seats work with this base. It's very light and really easy to put in the back of the car and much simpler than buying a bigger stroller - which you can always do later... With the base if you are lucky and your baby falls asleep in the car seat you can transfer him or her from the car to the stroller without waking up (or vice versa)!

Car seat base - just clip the car seat in and go.

Maclaren Triumph

There are lots of stroller/infant carseat combos that you can buy, like these from Graco, but to me they all felt too big. On the topic of strollers, when my son was about 6 months and able to sit up we started using this Maclaren Triumph stroller. I bought it for about $115 on Amazon.com and I have logged many hundreds of miles on it. It is a work horse but ultra light and really handy for folding with one hand and lifting into your car, carrying upstairs, folding up and stashing in a small apartment, etc. I did buy a jogging stroller made by InStep, and I love it, but rarely use it for actual jogging, so it was sort of a waste in that sense.

Good swaddler with velcro!

4. Clothes: All the newborn clothes are adorably cute but we had so many that our son never even wore. If you are going to buy a lot of clothes or put them on a registry I would choose mostly 3-6 months and even 6-9 months. For us we were changing diapers so much the first few weeks that we basically just kept him in these cute shirts from Target (so we did not have to keep unsnapping onesies) and then swaddled him. We tried a couple different swaddle blankets, but the ones that worked for us were these: Summer Infant SwaddleMe, and we bought them in a couple different colors/fabrics. Basic blankets work well too, but we found that it was sort of difficult to find them in the exact size that works best for swaddling, we either had too much fabric or not enough.

On the clothes topic, here are some things my son never used: baby mittens, baby booties, and baby hats. Granted I lived in San Diego so he did not need as much cold weather gear. That said, he never had a problem with scratching his face (one reason people put mittens on babies), and he was swaddled so much that keeping his hands and feet warm was not an issue. Also most of the newborn onesies we had were footed so socks weren't necessary. I think if we lived in a colder climate he would have worn a hat more outside, but inside it was always warm enough and most newborns spend most of their time indoors. Another item my son never used was a pacifier. We had tons of these given to us and even though I would have given my right arm to get him to use one when he was a newborn and very colicky he never took to them. In retrospect I am glad, since it seems like a habit that would have been hard to break. Like lots of other baby decisions some people feel very passionately either for or against pacifiers. You don't have to decide whether to use them before your baby is born, but it might be good to be aware of both sides of the argument (as it is with other things like co-sleeping, formula feeding, etc.) The list of controversial baby topics is sort of endless.

5. Baby Sleeping/Changing Area. If you are going to have your baby in the bedroom or in the bed with you at the beginning the best thing you can do is to set up your bedroom so that everything is within an arm's reach (read more about how co-sleeping worked for us here). Especially the first few days when you are recovering from the birth you are so tired that getting out of bed can be a pain. We had an extra changing pad on a table at the bottom of our bed, baby clothes in a little plastic bin, a laptop for watching netflix movies, a water bottle and painkillers on the night table, etc. I was basically camped out there for a while with the baby. I spent so much time in the last trimester worried that we would not get the baby's room ready and our baby did not sleep in his crib or go in his room until he was 4 months old. So don't sweat finishing the baby's room if you are feeling pressured. What my baby did sleep in for the first four months was the bouncer, a swing, and our bed (co-sleeping next to me). What he never slept in was the pack n'play I set up right next to the bed. Our son had a lot of trouble sleeping as a newborn, but a lot of people very successfully use a pack n play, or a co-sleeper that attaches to the bed.

Although you probably won't use a crib at the beginning, some lucky parents have newborns who take to sleeping in cribs early. If you are looking for a good value in a crib we got a Leksvik crib from Ikea, after reading Consumer Reports rating it highly and it has been perfect for us (despite some sweat and grumbling trying to put it together). Similarly, although your baby might not sleep in a pack n play at the beginning our toddler still uses ours when we travel so some items that you buy up front may be useful in the long haul.

Standard Boppy pillow

6. Breastfeeding Gear - I used the "Brest Friend pillow" and thought it was really helpful. Another really popular one is the Boppy. I tried this too and I think it is fine, but not as supportive as the brest friend pillow for breastfeeding. Also a lot of people like the boppy pillow because when your baby starts sitting up it doubles as a good place to prop them up while they are developing back muscles.

Standard Brest Friend Pillow

Another recommendation for moms who plan on breast feeding. If you buy a good carrier, a lot of them allow you to walk around and do other stuff while your baby eats. The best one for breastfeeding that I found was a ring sling, the one I have was made by SweetPea Ring Slings. A ring sling and the idea of walking around while breast feeding might seem daunting for first time moms, but it is easier than it looks and there is a big supportive community online offering advice on how to use ring slings and how to hold your baby in different positions. For example there are lots of youtube videos (see how to use a ring sling) and websites devoted to this topic. Also once it hits you that your baby is eating 8-12 times a day as a newborn and at least for my baby he liked to eat for almost an hour each time, you are going to get tired of being chained to a chair while your baby eats.

You might also want to prepare a breastfeeding station for those times that you are sitting in one spot for an hour. A mama friend gave me a big water bottle that I could hold, open, and drink from with one hand, and this was indispensable. You need to drink a lot when breast feeding. I liked to have that, my phone (so I could be Bejeweled), and maybe some snacks, books, or the remote for the TV nearby. Lots of people also make sure they have burp cloths, and whatever else they need for baby nearby.

One final note about breastfeeding. Even if you don't plan to co-sleep with your baby during the night, learning to breastfeed lying down can allow you to be more relaxed and maybe doze while your baby eats, read more about my experience with this here.

7. Car Seat: There are a million car seat to choose from and I think most are very good. If you are on a tight budget you may want the convertible car seat (which can be used from newborn size on up) because then you won't need to two car seats for the same time period. However, I would advise you to buy the infant car seat (instead of a convertible car seat) for two reasons: (a) these seats fit infants better than the bigger seats, and (b) if your baby falls asleep you can lift them in and out of the car while they are still sleeping. I can not overstate the importance of this feature!

Let's assume you are buying an infant car seat. As far as infant car seats I learned the hard way is that you should buy a car seat that has straps that are adjustable in the front (i.e. where baby is sitting). We bought a great car seat from Graco, but you had to adjust the straps to tighten them in the back, which was a giant pain.

The strap hanging down the front is used to adjust the seat belt.

The straps that adjust the seat belt are in the back.

Since for safety you really need to tighten them each time you put the baby in it is a great convenience to have the straps adjusters in front (and most seats are made this way). On the topic of car seats, please do yourself a favor and have an expert inspect your car seat installation. This service is free and they teach you so much, see my blog post for more info.

One more note on infant car seats. They make infant car seats that go up to various height and weight limits. For example, my car seat was listed as working up to 22 pounds or when the child reached 29 inches (whichever comes first). I've noticed car seats advertised as up to 30 pounds or 30 inches (i.e. Graco 30). Now I know by the time my son was 6 months old he was already getting heavy to lug around in the car seat. If you want to leave the car seat in the car then maybe the 30 pound limit will allow you to use it longer, but I would not want to carry a 30 pound baby around in that thing. Also most kids will hit the height limit before they hit the weight limit so you may need to upgrade your car seat just as quickly after all. A quick look at growth chart shows that the average one year old is about 29-30 inches and 22 pounds.

8. Baby Bathtub: I got a very simple but cute whale bathtub for my son and it worked perfectly for us. The key criteria are how it supports your baby and secondly whether it is easy to clean or prone to collecting grime. This one works great. My son used it with the attachment in place until he could sit on his own (about 7 months) and then used the tub until he was at least a year old. Once he started walking he wanted to walk everywhere including the tub, so we had to stop using it. However, I am a big advocate of using these tubs as long as possible as it saves water: good for the environment and for your water bill.

Even though I loved this bathtub I should point out that when babies are newborns they really don't need baths. At the infant care class we took at the hospital after our son was born the instructor told us it is best just to give newborns a bath with a wash cloth and warm water, uncovering only the bits that you are cleaning to keep the rest of their tiny bodies warm. Also newborns really don't get very dirty, well yes their diaper end does, but you clean that each time you change the diaper. The rest of them stay pretty amazingly clean and perfect. My son probably had 6 baths in the first 3 months of his life and that was because I felt like I should, not because he was actually dirty. I have seen bathtub's advertised that fit in the sink for giving newborn's bath, like this one, but I'm not sure why you would pay twice as much for something that won't last as long as the standard infant bathtub.

9. High Chair: Depending on the size of your kitchen/dining area and your personal preferences you can choose between a full size standalone high chair or the kind of high chair that straps on to a regular kitchen chair. I have no experience with the standalone size high chairs, because I think they seem very clunky and I have always lived in a small place.

Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair

Fisher Price Booster Seat

We have used these two high chairs: the Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair (about $55) and the Fisher Price Healthy Care Booster Seat ($25). The Space Saver chair was great because it reclined and starting at about 6 months my son could recline in it and hold his own bottle. It is also comfy and supportive. However, if I had it to do over again I would probably skip the bigger chair and go straight to buying the booster seat.

The booster seat is smaller, easier to clean, good for traveling, and I know lots of people who use them as soon as babies start eating and can sit up on their own (which usually happens about the same time). The covers on high chairs, like the cover on the Space Saver can get pretty yucky while kids are learning to eat. It took me a few months to realize you can just take off the cover and have your baby sit on the plastic. It's easier to clean and with all that baby fat I don't think they notice much of a difference. The biggest thing to consider when buying a high chair (other than safety) is how easy it is to clean. They can get pretty nasty; fewer straps, plastic surfaces, and fewer cracks and seams are priorities.

Items for mamas:

You are going to spend a lot of time thinking about how to prepare things for the baby, but it pays off to do a few things for yourself toward the end of your pregnancy. It doesn't hurt to do some serious cooking before your due date and freeze meals that you can reheat easily later. Even more important take care of yourself, find time to relax and cherish whatever sleep and quiet time you can get! However, there are a few items that will be handy for you to buy before the baby arrives.

1. Buy a water bottle that you can drink from with one hand for breastfeeding (if you plan on breastfeeding). A lot of newborns eat really slow, my son used to take 45-60 minutes per meal and you do that 8-10 times per day. You get really thirsty!

2. Buy a couple of nursing bras before you have the baby and just guess at the size or get something really stretchy. For me it was a big hassle to find a way to go out bra shopping with a newborn. If you have family in town who can watch the baby for you for a while that is great (or if your husband is going to be home for a while). If you have family nearby and/or a husband who is going to get lots of time off when the baby is born then you can wait on some of this stuff and you are a lucky girl. Read more about this in another blog post. More importantly buy some nursing pads (either disposable or cloth) for the inevitable leaking.

3. We bought a video camera before our son was born and it has been awesome for sharing with family who are out of town what he is like and how he is growing up. You can upload videos to Picasa albums or use Vimeo for a similar service.

4. There is an Baby app for your smartphone that I found really useful called Baby ESP (Eat, Sleep, Poop). You can use it to track when your baby last ate, sleeping times, nap times, everything. I found it to be particularly helpful when we were sleep training our son. Here is my blog entry on the app.

I could make a whole separate list of things that we ended up buying or getting as gifts that we never needed. Babies really need very little the first few months, just lots of love and holding! But after we bought a swing and Max slept in it for a month then decided he did not like it anymore I found out I could buy big items (like swings, strollers, play pens, etc.) on Craigslist. If you want to save money this is a great way to do it.

There is probably something essential that I forgot to put on this list, so if you are reading and can think of something I missed feel free to leave a comment and I can add your suggestion to this list.

Baby Marketing Ploys

I just received this flyer in the mail with a big picture of an adorable baby who looks like he just started walking and behind him looking proud and excited his mother softly out of focus. I assumed this was a mailing for some baby product, like all the others. No, this flyer is advertising earthquake insurance.

Does anybody have a clue what they are doing with this photo?

I imagine a photo of a real earthquake, maybe a house disintegrated into rubble and people looking dusty, wounded, and bloody might not sell insurance well. But what's with the baby? Was this just a generic stock photo that the company thought would make people stop and read their brochure? Are babies supposed to bring out our generic protective instinct? Are we supposed to think about how horrifying it would be if this baby was leveled by an earthquake just after he learned to walk, because that's what I thought.

Even creepier... does this marketing campaign somehow know I am a parent? Did some corporation sell an advertising company my data? Do they send other people mailing with different pictures? Do seniors get an image of a happy couple sitting on porch swing.

Anyway I do not plan on buying the insurance, but the flyer certainly got me thinking.

Books - The Runaway Bunny

Not sure if it is maternal hormones or what, but I just love this story: "The Runaway Bunny" by Margaret Wise Brown and illustrated by Clement Hurd.

The pair that constructed this book are also the author and illustrator of "Goodnight Moon", but I think this is actually my favorite of the pair.

The story begins:
Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away.
So he said to his mother, "I am running away".
"If you run away," said his mother, "I will run after you.
For you are my little bunny."

The little bunny proceeds to explain to his mother all the places he will run away and all the things he will turn into, and his mother explains that no matter where he goes she will follow him and find him. It perfectly captures how I feel about my son.

It does not help my emotional side that this book was in a heartbreaking scene in the movie "Wit". 

Toddler tears?

My son cries as much as any other toddler, but the weird thing is he never cries with tears. You know the big alligator tears you see on so many kids when they fall down or throw a tantrum or someone looks at them the wrong way, not my son.

I was struck by this the other day when we were playing with a neighbor and her two year old and in the span of 10 seconds this little boy went from happy to crying with great big globs of tears sliding down his face. Now my son is perfectly capable of going from happy to sad in 10 seconds, but there are never tears.

I feel really lucky to have been spared this aspect of drama with my son. I know you would probably get used to it if your kid did it, but tears on a little guy make me so so sad. I think I have seen my son's eyes get teary once, one of the times he fell and really hurt himself, but I don't think I ever saw a teardrop slide down his cheeks.

So my question is... how common is this? I know most children do cry with tears, will my son eventually develop this trait or is it something he will learn? Do any other parents have young children that do not cry with tears. My son is 20 months now and still no tears.

Eye-Fi cards uploading photos without cords!

So if you are a parent like me who takes tons of photos of your child and is annoyed by the process of transferring those files onto your computer then you need to put the Eye-Fi card on your wish list.

It looks like a regular SD memory card (the kind of memory that most point and shoot digital cameras use these days). But instead of plugging your camera into your computer, or taking out the SD card and putting it into a card reader the Eye-Fi cards stays in your camera and all you do is bring your camera close to your computer and the images transfer wirelessly to your computer.

The advantage of not having to find and use yet another cord to transfer photos is a surprisingly big deal. This is a better, faster, way of getting those photos onto your computer so you can share them with family and friends even faster.

They now even have a version of the card to be used for smart phones or the iPad. The list price for the basic 4GB card is $50 and the 8GB version is $100. Perfect to put on your holiday or birthday wish list :)