The Tummy Time controversy

A recent New York Times Health Section had an article with the headline: ‘Tummy Time’ May Not Be Needed.

As this article discusses a new study of Canadian infants born before and after the introduction in 1994 of the "Back to Sleep" campaign shows that there is no difference between the groups in when they started rolling front to back or back to front. Other research seems to indicate that there is also no difference between when kids who sleep on their tummy and back walk (although some of this research shows tummy sleepers did crawl and roll earlier).

Now on to my anecdotal evidence, which as we know is rationally less important but emotionally more relevant. My older son hated tummy time from the get go, but I felt obligated to try it and did for the first few months. He learned to roll both ways at about 4 months. As soon as he learned to roll onto his belly he always slept on his belly, but otherwise did not like to spend time on his belly. If I remember by 8 months he was pulling up to stand up on his own, but not crawling. By 9 months he was traveling short distances by scooting around the floor on his butt in the sitting position, but not crawling. Sometime after he turned 10 months old he finally started crawling. He only crawled for about two months. About two weeks after his 1 year birthday he started walking and within a couple months he was an expert walker and to my dismay runner. I am 100% confident his lack of tummy time did not lead to any problems. He is a very athletic and coordinated kid who learned to run way too fast for me at a very early age.

Little baby baldie.

My younger son loved being on his back from the get go, and big surprise also hated tummy time. He is 7 months old now and since birth has had a little bald spot on the back of his head from where his head rubs when he is in his crib or bouncy chair. At 4 months he learned to roll from his tummy to his back, and since then attempts at tummy time have lasted exactly 2 seconds, which is exactly how long it takes  for him to roll back onto his back. Time will tell if he is a early or late walker, but thanks to my earlier experiences I am not so hung up on crawling this time around. And to be honest it is sort of nice to have a baby that stays put when you put him somewhere!

What both these articles and the medical research emphasizes is that the "milestones" of rolling and crawling are not predictors of developmental delays. They encourage parents not to worry about when their baby crawls. This is not to say that other milestones are not important. A five month old who is unable to hold his head up or a nine month old who is unable to sit unsupported I am guessing would warrant further attention. In the meantime I am not going to feel guilty about depriving my baby of tummy time.

Painting is for kids and parents :)

In the last six months my three year old has really gotten into all forms of coloring and drawing, including painting. I wasn't so keen on joining him when he was using his fingers and the thick chunky paint, but now that he is using a paint brush and watercolors I am finding painting with him to be hugely enjoyable.

There is something so relaxing and satisfying about painting with the water colors. And I'm not talking about being creative, I am talking about me printing a picture of some animal or airplane or car that my son wants to paint then fastidiously painting within the lines.

For example, here is my latest masterpiece.

My new stress reduction technique.

It's not as entertaining as watching Arrested Development or as healthy as going for a jog or a long walk, but it is very calming after a long day. And to be honest last night after my boys were both asleep I spent a few minutes painting by myself!

Meanwhile my son has made great progress in the art department, a big achievement for a kid who is pretty bad at sitting still. He went from thinking crayons were for chewing at 18 months to painting and coloring in the lines at 3.5 years old.

18 months old: crayons are non-toxic for a reason right?

3 years old: using tools appropriately and coloring in the lines!

Unsung Milestones: My 3 year old learns to lie

My older son is 3.5 years old and the other day he started telling one of my all-time favorite lies. A lie that I remember fondly telling my parents time after time when I was a kid.

It goes something like this... My son is in his bedroom making worrisome sounding noises. The noises that sound like maybe something is breaking or about to break. So I say in a sort of stern mommy voice, "What are you doing in there?" And my son replies, "Nothing."

That's it. Blatant lie. In that case I think he was kicking toys around his bedroom. It's happened a few other times, always when he is doing things he knows he is not supposed to be doing.

Now I'm curious if kids generally start doing this at about the same time or if our son has picked up some advanced deception skills somewhere. Any comments from other parents?

Taggies: Just another reason buying stuff for babies is tricky

Babies are tricky. If you don't watch out you will spend tons of money on gadgets and doodads to try to make them sleep, or make them happy, or at the very least keep them entertained, and in all likelihood about half of that stuff is going to lie around unused. In some cases they will use it for a few weeks, or if you are lucky a few months.

When I had my first son we received a cute gift from a friend: a Taggies blanket. It's a little square with tags (as in the tags on clothes) sewn all around it in fabrics of difference colors and textures. My first son had zero interest in this item, maybe less than zero.

Not my son, but you can see what the blanket looks like and how thrilling it is to this baby.

My second son, now almost 7 months old, recently started sucking on all the tags on his burp cloths and receiving blankets. So this morning I dug out the Taggies blanket from a dark recess in our closet and presto his face lit up when I showed it to him and he has been happily exploring the different tags for 20 minutes.

My baby chewing on tags.

For the Bay Area Moms and Dads

Play Cafe is an awesome local Oakland spot to bring your toddler for indoor fun and frolicking while you can sit, put your feet up and enjoy some coffee or a little snack or lunch.

If you have a kid like mine, who likes to roam and sometimes run away, it is really nice to have a confined space so you can keep an eye on him easily.

What I learned from my second baby

Whenever I talk to people who are pregnant or have a newborn and want advice I try to make sure the first thing I tell them is that every pregnancy, every labor and delivery, and every newborn is different so take all advice including mine with a grain of salt.

With my first son who was a colicky and very high needs newborn I heard all sorts of advice and tried all of it only to find myself discouraged that none of the things that worked like a charm for other parents (swaddling, pacifiers, white noise, etc.) made my son noticeably happier. Although I had heard plenty of stories of friends who have one easy pregnancy and then a hard one, one easy delivery and one hard one, and one easy newborn and one hard one I was not convinced my experience would be similar. Besides everything being more exhausting (because I had a toddler to care for), and the notable difference that my second son was breech, my pregnancy felt about the same. I was mentally preparing for another very high needs, possibly colicky baby as I hit the 9th month.

Well my second son is almost 5 months old now and I think I can safely say he was from day one a very very different kid than my older son. So chalk one up to nature and inherited personality traits. My first son as a newborn wanted to be held 24 hours a day if possible, starting his first night in the hospital. And holding was really not enough he wanted to be walked around, sitting and holding him or standing and swaying was just not enough. My first son lived in the Moby wrap for his first few months, my second son tried it once. My second son likes being held while he is eating and sometimes for a little bit afterward, but is equally happy lying on his back or sitting in his bouncy chair.

Here are some other differences, some major some minor.

1. Size differences: Baby 1 was born at 7 lbs 2 oz and was long and lean and never had much baby fat. Baby 2 was born at 7 lbs 11 oz is a relative chunkster with real baby fat folds on his legs (although he's just 50% for height and weight)
2. Happiness differences: Baby 1 loved to laugh and started laughing early. Baby 2 started smiling early and will smile at the drop of the hat, but laughing takes more work.
3. Sadness differences: Baby 1 cried like crazy but never had real tears (you know the salty water leaking from his eyes). Baby 2 does not cry much, but when he does he has big sad alligator tears.
4. Sleep patterns: Baby 1 was a horrific sleeper until 4 months, then sleep training pretty quickly worked miracles and he was a terrific napper and night time sleeper. Baby 2 was a champion sleeper until 3 months then the sh*t hit the fan, and sleep training at 4 months was only a moderate success.  
5. Cosmetic differences: Baby 1 has blond hair, blue eyes, and fair skin (and still does as a 3 year old). Baby 2 was born with a darker complexion, dark brown hair, and gray-blue eyes which look like they will probably turn brown.

They are not total opposites. In four very important ways they are very alike:

1. They were both really social from the get go and loved human interaction.
2. They were both abysmal sleepers for a while, just at different stages.
3. They were both excellent eaters from birth and both took to breastfeeding like a duck to water.
4. They both abhor the infant car seat and would scream endlessly in it (until sleep training and they acquired the ability to self-soothe).

In fact there is only one member of the household who has consistently liked the car seat, TJ.

This black blob with a red collar is TJ, and he loves the car seat, unlike my boys.

Anyone else notice immediate differences between their kids after they were born? I'm guessing there are also parents who happen to have kids who are carbon copies of each other (I am an identical twin so I can understand how this happens). Add your comments and let me know what pattern you saw in your family.

Coloring fun with some help from the internet

When I was a kid I remember spending hours coloring with crayons and markers in coloring books. Just as electronic media is killing paper books I have a feeling that coloring books might be on their way out. Not only are there lots of cool apps for phones and tablets that let your kid color electronically, but even better you can just search the internet for whatever you want to color, print the page, and go.

Lately when my son wants to color with markers or paint I ask him what he wants to draw (train, dinosaur, Elmo, whales, etc.). Then I go online and do a Google image search for "whale coloring". He picks one he likes we print it and we're good to go.

Here is what we worked on this weekend thanks to our new online coloring book technique.

My three year old painted one of these whales, the other whale he commanded me to paint.
Both whale pictures are now hanging on the wall above his bed.

I hope this helps someone else who needs rainy day activity ideas, or needs something that you can do without having to go buy special stuff (except of course for the computer, printer, and internet connection!)

My favorite blog post from one of my favorite blogs

Crappy Pictures is a hilarious parenting blog, and for those of who sometimes feel crazy trying to take care of our kids a recent post, "Parenting - I Quit", hits the nail on the head.

Here is a preview:

Yes I adore my kids, I know the author of this blog also adores her kids. But anyone who has not been driven to the brink of desperation once in a while by their kids either has a little baby who has not learned to do crazy toddler things yet, is not spending enough time with their kids, has the world's only perfect child, or should be nominated for sainthood.

Go read the Crappy Pictures blog, it will make your day.

Apparently I'm a big boy

My husband and I love the fact that our three year old's language skills are improving everyday. I love the way he tries so hard to use words and phrases correctly, but makes really funny mistakes.

Last night my son wanted to play puzzles with me. We have these 12 piece Melissa and Doug puzzles that come in packs of four that he has loved since he was about 2 years old. He has the dinosaur puzzles and the vehicle puzzles.

He asked me to "take turns" with the puzzles, explaining that he wanted to do a puzzle then it would be my turn. When it was my turn I started my puzzle then asked if he wanted to help me fit the pieces together. He said, "Mama you don't need help, you a big boy."

For any readers who do not know, I am most definitely not a boy. But gender doesn't make much sense to three year olds and the whole "his" and "her" vocabulary mystifies my son.

Looking at the world through my son's eyes it makes perfect sense that to him "big boy" is a phrase which means "you can do something by yourself". I am constantly telling him big boys get dressed by themselves, big boys go on the potty, big boys put on their own shoes, etc. It just cracks me up how his brain synthesizes this stuff. 

Youtube Kid Snippets

A good friend told me about the Kid Snippets channel on Youtube and pointed me to some of the hilarious videos of adults acting out kid conversations (kid voices and adult actors).

Try math class, drivers ed, or dance class.

I'm always happy to find humorous ways to waste my time online, feel free to share other ideas in the comments. And I do love lolcats, so don't be shy.