I have vomitophobia. I just made that word up but what I mean is that the thought of throwing up is totally repellent to me, and the act of throwing up is emotionally scarring. For this reason I do not drink heavily or do anything else which might lead to me throwing up. Unfortunately...
Having a kid means vomiting is inevitable. First it is inevitable for you, the parent. Let me describe my situation to you like this. In the ten years before I had my son I got sick with a virus (cold, stomach virus, etc.) maybe once a year, let's say ten times total in ten years. In the two years since my son entered the world I have probably had ten colds and three stomach viruses. And these stomach viruses were not the "oh my stomach is a little queasy I'm not going to eat for a while" variety. They were the "my body is forcibly ridding itself of all fluids, retching in the toilet for hours on end" variety. At one point when my son was just a month old I remember being unable to sleep for a whole night because I had to throw up literally every 20-40 minutes, fortunately I was able to breastfeed between the nastiness.
The good news about my vomitophobia, it only applies to my own vomit. I hate throwing up personally, but life with a toddler has taught me that I am not afraid, appalled, or made nauseaus by other people's vomit, at least not my son's. He only threw up twice in his first two years. Both times I did not even know about it until the next morning. On both occasions I went to get my son up in the morning and found him sleeping in a mess of vomit with it encrusted in his beautiful hair. Saddest sight ever. There were no screams of pain in the night so my husband and I had no clue there was a problem. On both occasions I felt terrible that my son was sleeping in vomit, but he woke up chipper and happy pretty much acting like it was no problem. Those occasions were really no big deal.
Then we had the norovirus go around this January and it was a nasty mess. So I'm going to take this opportunity to relate my experience and offer some commiseration and advice to other parents.
What I learned from my two year old with norovirus:
The good: My son was not acting like he was in pain, he did not seem particularly disturbed by vomiting, although he was sad. He just kept pointing to the piles of vomit and going "a mess, a mess" (a phrase he hears often in our house). Also good, the whole vomiting escapade only lasted about 4-5 hours (a really long time while it's happening but in the grand scheme of things not bad).
The bad: I have learned that the onset of a stomach virus is unpredictable (see above about finding my son sleeping in vomit). With the norovirus we were out at a playground at about 5pm, my son had already been there about 30 minutes, he was running on top of the play structure over to a slide and all of a sudden I heard a yucky sound and then I could not see his little head anymore. Went up to find him and found him next to a pile of vomit. Picked him up to comfort him and he immediately threw up again, I managed to sort of lean over with him so that it mainly hit the wooden play structure and not me. Also bad, how do you clean vomit off a wooden play structure while dealing with a confused and sick toddler? Thank you to the stranger who offered to scoop up some sand from the playground and pour it over the vomit so that I could deal with my now very sad son and so that other kids did not slip and slide in it (wouldn't the other parents love me then!). Also bad, if you happen to be out and about when your child is sick getting them home may be unpleasant. We had walked 15 minutes to the playground with the stroller, my son was very sad and feeling yucky so he refused to sit in the stroller on the way home. Which meant I carried my vomit covered toddler home hoping strangers did not look too closely at us, or if they did they felt pity and not revulsion.
The ugly: Sick toddlers are messy, vomit machines. And I am not talking about gentle vomiting, I am talking about projectile vomiting the likes of which I had only ever seen in cartoons and movies before the norovirus. I am guessing sick babies are sadder, but perhaps easier since they do not have the mobility to run around the house vomiting and their diets are pretty simple. I am guessing that older kids are easier because they can follow directions to throw up into the trash can or toilet, I remember doing that as a kid. Also hopefully they can give you a heads up when their stomach starts to feel bad. Sick two year olds, at least my son, can neither tell you what is happening nor follow directions about damage control. My poor son only wanted me to hold him to comfort him. So that meant despite my best efforts I was thrown up upon several times. By the time my husband was able to get home and help there were pools of vomit around the apartment my son was totally naked and I was down to my underwear.
What I learned for future vomitscapades:
1. If possible make the sick toddler sit on the floor or on a trash bag or something easy to clean (cleaning vomit off couch cushions really sucks believe me)
2. You might as well get your kid undressed if they'll let you and get yourself into clothes you don't care about right away, it will save a lot of laundry. I spent most of that night on the floor with my son with a blanket wrapped around him.
3. If your kid demands to be held try to lean into the vomit thereby ensuring that most of it falls on the ground or the receptacle you are strategically trying to place under their head.
4. Vomit comes at intervals (for us about 20-30 minutes between pukes) so be prepared and get situated. If your kid just vomited you probably have time for a quick bath or sponge down. If it's been 15 minutes it's time to get a trash can, paper towels, and wipes ready. If it's been 45-50 minutes you are probably in the clear and can get them dressed again.
P.S. for those who are interested and per Wikipedia, there is actually a term for people afraid of vomit: Emetophobia. Anyone else in the emetophobia club?
Any other vomit-seasoned parents have words of advice that they would like to add?
Having a kid means vomiting is inevitable. First it is inevitable for you, the parent. Let me describe my situation to you like this. In the ten years before I had my son I got sick with a virus (cold, stomach virus, etc.) maybe once a year, let's say ten times total in ten years. In the two years since my son entered the world I have probably had ten colds and three stomach viruses. And these stomach viruses were not the "oh my stomach is a little queasy I'm not going to eat for a while" variety. They were the "my body is forcibly ridding itself of all fluids, retching in the toilet for hours on end" variety. At one point when my son was just a month old I remember being unable to sleep for a whole night because I had to throw up literally every 20-40 minutes, fortunately I was able to breastfeed between the nastiness.
The good news about my vomitophobia, it only applies to my own vomit. I hate throwing up personally, but life with a toddler has taught me that I am not afraid, appalled, or made nauseaus by other people's vomit, at least not my son's. He only threw up twice in his first two years. Both times I did not even know about it until the next morning. On both occasions I went to get my son up in the morning and found him sleeping in a mess of vomit with it encrusted in his beautiful hair. Saddest sight ever. There were no screams of pain in the night so my husband and I had no clue there was a problem. On both occasions I felt terrible that my son was sleeping in vomit, but he woke up chipper and happy pretty much acting like it was no problem. Those occasions were really no big deal.
Then we had the norovirus go around this January and it was a nasty mess. So I'm going to take this opportunity to relate my experience and offer some commiseration and advice to other parents.
What I learned from my two year old with norovirus:
The good: My son was not acting like he was in pain, he did not seem particularly disturbed by vomiting, although he was sad. He just kept pointing to the piles of vomit and going "a mess, a mess" (a phrase he hears often in our house). Also good, the whole vomiting escapade only lasted about 4-5 hours (a really long time while it's happening but in the grand scheme of things not bad).
The bad: I have learned that the onset of a stomach virus is unpredictable (see above about finding my son sleeping in vomit). With the norovirus we were out at a playground at about 5pm, my son had already been there about 30 minutes, he was running on top of the play structure over to a slide and all of a sudden I heard a yucky sound and then I could not see his little head anymore. Went up to find him and found him next to a pile of vomit. Picked him up to comfort him and he immediately threw up again, I managed to sort of lean over with him so that it mainly hit the wooden play structure and not me. Also bad, how do you clean vomit off a wooden play structure while dealing with a confused and sick toddler? Thank you to the stranger who offered to scoop up some sand from the playground and pour it over the vomit so that I could deal with my now very sad son and so that other kids did not slip and slide in it (wouldn't the other parents love me then!). Also bad, if you happen to be out and about when your child is sick getting them home may be unpleasant. We had walked 15 minutes to the playground with the stroller, my son was very sad and feeling yucky so he refused to sit in the stroller on the way home. Which meant I carried my vomit covered toddler home hoping strangers did not look too closely at us, or if they did they felt pity and not revulsion.
The ugly: Sick toddlers are messy, vomit machines. And I am not talking about gentle vomiting, I am talking about projectile vomiting the likes of which I had only ever seen in cartoons and movies before the norovirus. I am guessing sick babies are sadder, but perhaps easier since they do not have the mobility to run around the house vomiting and their diets are pretty simple. I am guessing that older kids are easier because they can follow directions to throw up into the trash can or toilet, I remember doing that as a kid. Also hopefully they can give you a heads up when their stomach starts to feel bad. Sick two year olds, at least my son, can neither tell you what is happening nor follow directions about damage control. My poor son only wanted me to hold him to comfort him. So that meant despite my best efforts I was thrown up upon several times. By the time my husband was able to get home and help there were pools of vomit around the apartment my son was totally naked and I was down to my underwear.
What I learned for future vomitscapades:
1. If possible make the sick toddler sit on the floor or on a trash bag or something easy to clean (cleaning vomit off couch cushions really sucks believe me)
2. You might as well get your kid undressed if they'll let you and get yourself into clothes you don't care about right away, it will save a lot of laundry. I spent most of that night on the floor with my son with a blanket wrapped around him.
3. If your kid demands to be held try to lean into the vomit thereby ensuring that most of it falls on the ground or the receptacle you are strategically trying to place under their head.
4. Vomit comes at intervals (for us about 20-30 minutes between pukes) so be prepared and get situated. If your kid just vomited you probably have time for a quick bath or sponge down. If it's been 15 minutes it's time to get a trash can, paper towels, and wipes ready. If it's been 45-50 minutes you are probably in the clear and can get them dressed again.
P.S. for those who are interested and per Wikipedia, there is actually a term for people afraid of vomit: Emetophobia. Anyone else in the emetophobia club?
Any other vomit-seasoned parents have words of advice that they would like to add?
