Funny Pregnancy Photos

Just thought I would post a link to some pregnancy photos that made my day.
I think pregnancy photos are really hard to do well, they either look cheesy or ridiculous. These ones went beyond ridiculous...

Awkward Pregnancy Photos

A classic example :)

At least in a lot of these cases it seems like they were going for "funny" instead of serious. A sense of humor makes everything better.

The Step Stool - Kid stuff vs. Regular stuff

So I wanted to get my son a step stool so he can start practicing brushing his teeth over the sink and the dinky little one we have from Ikea is too short to help in this scenario.

The problem is when you look for step stools for toddlers there is a little niche market of adorable, but way overpriced items. Actually I am going to go ahead and say a lot of toddler/kid items are overpriced simply because they are for kids.

Even the most basic looking two-step stool I could find, made by Kidkraft started at $30.

But with a short trip to Home Depot I was able to get a less aesthetically pleasing, but more useful step stool for $10. Also my Home Depot stool has the added advantage of holding up to 300 pounds, in case my kid grows into an obese adult who still lives at home. The stool is 18" tell, versus 10" for the Kidkraft stool. Most importantly the top is ridged and I am not worried about slipping if he spills water on it in the bathroom. Meanwhile, the comments on Amazon indicated the socked kid feet can easily slip on the wooden Kidkraft stool.

So to make a long story short, I have learned my lesson. Always check to see if you can get better products for a cheaper price before buying the "kid" version. As an added bonus you can keep using them after the kids grow up and I am still 5'3" and can't reach the top shelves in the kitchen!

Croup

Yes, this illness sounds like some sort of medieval disease or a wild bird. However, at least when my son got croup it sounded worse than it was - literally he sounded bad, but he recovered pretty quickly.

He did not have many symptoms beforehand, other than an intermittent cold that seemed to last months (and coincided with cold season and his starting day care). In the middle of the night I woke up to what sounded like a weird wheezing barking sound coming from my son's room. Sometimes croup can be really serious and cause babies to have trouble breathing. In my son's case he was still able to get air all right, he was just uncomfortable.

The next day we went to the doctor even though he was breathing fine and had no symptoms during the day. The doctor said in many kids croup just appears at night and will only happen for one or two nights. Fortunately that was what happened with us. That night I heard the barking again, only much milder and he slept better. By the next night the croup was gone.

What I wish I brought to the hospital

One of my beloved family members is having her baby in May and recently we got talking about what she should bring to the hospital with her for the birth. It made me think this is a good blog post topic, because there are several things I would have loved to with me when my son was born, but given that he was my first I did not think to bring them.

So here we go with another biased, partial, but well-intentioned list:

1. Nursing pillow
2. Nursing bra
3. Baby carrier
4. Swaddle blankets

Nursing pillow: You probably already have one at home, so bring it. No need to bring it into the hospital when you go into labor, if you carry all this stuff in you will be overwhelmed, but after the baby is born you can have someone run out to the car to get it. Nursing pillows are designed to help position the baby, the hospital pillows are just not going to be as easy to use.

Nursing bra: I did not even own a nursing bra before my son was born, and it was a big hassle to go buy one with a newborn. So just buy a nursing bra or even a extra-stretchy larger sports bra and bring it with you to the hospital. It will help with the inevitable breast soreness and leaking and will be easier than trying to find ways to peel off parts of your hospital gown.

Baby carrier: With this item I have a caveat. If it is a complicated carrier like a Moby wrap and you have not used it before it might be more stressful to bring it to the hospital and try to figure out how to use it with a newborn. But if you have an easy to use carrier or have used it before then by all means bring it.

Swaddle blankets: The hospitals blankets are fine for swaddling, but if you are a new parent and have not swaddled babies before or just want the convenience of the pre-made swaddle blankets you can bring one like the SwaddleMe and save yourself some effort. In fact looking around it seems they make swaddle blankets specifically for tiny newborns, this one is called the SwaddlePod. Not sure how well they work, but I'd love to hear back from others who have used them.

SwaddleMe swaddle blanket.

You will probably notice that a lot of things are missing from my list, for example clothes, baby clothes, etc. This is not a complete list, just things that might be missing from conventional lists. Yes you should bring clothes to wear home, and maybe clothes to wear at the hospital, as well as whatever else you feel you might want.

Everybody's labor and delivery is different. In mine I brought things that I thought I would use during labor, like an mp3 player, that I never even touched because my labor was relatively fast. My son was born at about 11am and we left at about 2pm the next day, so I did not have an opportunity to use many items that others parents might find useful in the hospital.

Particularly if you are having a c-section you may be there for several days to a week and you might want more clothes, toiletries, slippers/shoes, nursing pads to stop leaking when your milk comes in, etc. But if you are having a planned c-section you will know ahead of time and can pack more, if you have an unplanned c-section your husband or family members at some point will probably need to go home to check on the dog, other kids, change their clothes, etc. and they can pick up items for you at that point.

Toddler Vomit: the good, the bad, and the ugly

I have vomitophobia. I just made that word up but what I mean is that the thought of throwing up is totally repellent to me, and the act of throwing up is emotionally scarring. For this reason I do not drink heavily or do anything else which might lead to me throwing up. Unfortunately...

Having a kid means vomiting is inevitable. First it is inevitable for you, the parent. Let me describe my situation to you like this. In the ten years before I had my son I got sick with a virus (cold, stomach virus, etc.) maybe once a year, let's say ten times total in ten years. In the two years since my son entered the world I have probably had ten colds and three stomach viruses. And these stomach viruses were not the "oh my stomach is a little queasy I'm not going to eat for a while" variety. They were the "my body is forcibly ridding itself of all fluids, retching in the toilet for hours on end" variety. At one point when my son was just a month old I remember being unable to sleep for a whole night because I had to throw up literally every 20-40 minutes, fortunately I was able to breastfeed between the nastiness.

The good news about my vomitophobia, it only applies to my own vomit. I hate throwing up personally, but life with a toddler has taught me that I am not afraid, appalled, or made nauseaus by other people's vomit, at least not my son's. He only threw up twice in his first two years. Both times I did not even know about it until the next morning. On both occasions I went to get my son up in the morning and found him sleeping in a mess of vomit with it encrusted in his beautiful hair. Saddest sight ever. There were no screams of pain in the night so my husband and I had no clue there was a problem. On both occasions I felt terrible that my son was sleeping in vomit, but he woke up chipper and happy pretty much acting like it was no problem. Those occasions were really no big deal.

Then we had the norovirus go around this January and it was a nasty mess. So I'm going to take this opportunity to relate my experience and offer some commiseration and advice to other parents.

What I learned from my two year old with norovirus:

The good: My son was not acting like he was in pain, he did not seem particularly disturbed by vomiting, although he was sad. He just kept pointing to the piles of vomit and going "a mess, a mess" (a phrase he hears often in our house). Also good, the whole vomiting escapade only lasted about 4-5 hours (a really long time while it's happening but in the grand scheme of things not bad).


The bad: I have learned that the onset of a stomach virus is unpredictable (see above about finding my son sleeping in vomit). With the norovirus we were out at a playground at about 5pm, my son had already been there about 30 minutes, he was running on top of the play structure over to a slide and all of a sudden I heard a yucky sound and then I could not see his little head anymore. Went up to find him and found him next to a pile of vomit. Picked him up to comfort him and he immediately threw up again, I managed to sort of lean over with him so that it mainly hit the wooden play structure and not me. Also bad, how do you clean vomit off a wooden play structure while dealing with a confused and sick toddler? Thank you to the stranger who offered to scoop up some sand from the playground and pour it over the vomit so that I could deal with my now very sad son and so that other kids did not slip and slide in it (wouldn't the other parents love me then!). Also bad, if you happen to be out and about when your child is sick getting them home may be unpleasant. We had walked 15 minutes to the playground with the stroller, my son was very sad and feeling yucky so he refused to sit in the stroller on the way home. Which meant I carried my vomit covered toddler home hoping strangers did not look too closely at us, or if they did they felt pity and not revulsion.

The ugly: Sick toddlers are messy, vomit machines. And I am not talking about gentle vomiting, I am talking about projectile vomiting the likes of which I had only ever seen in cartoons and movies before the norovirus. I am guessing sick babies are sadder, but perhaps easier since they do not have the mobility to run around the house vomiting and their diets are pretty simple. I am guessing that older kids are easier because they can follow directions to throw up into the trash can or toilet, I remember doing that as a kid. Also hopefully they can give you a heads up when their stomach starts to feel bad. Sick two year olds, at least my son, can neither tell you what is happening nor follow directions about damage control. My poor son only wanted me to hold him to comfort him. So that meant despite my best efforts I was thrown up upon several times. By the time my husband was able to get home and help there were pools of vomit around the apartment my son was totally naked and I was down to my underwear.

What I learned for future vomitscapades:
1. If possible make the sick toddler sit on the floor or on a trash bag or something easy to clean (cleaning vomit off couch cushions really sucks believe me)
2. You might as well get your kid undressed if they'll let you and get yourself into clothes you don't care about right away, it will save a lot of laundry. I spent most of that night on the floor with my son with a blanket wrapped around him.
3. If your kid demands to be held try to lean into the vomit thereby ensuring that most of it falls on the ground or the receptacle you are strategically trying to place under their head.
4. Vomit comes at intervals (for us about 20-30 minutes between pukes) so be prepared and get situated. If your kid just vomited you probably have time for a quick bath or sponge down. If it's been 15 minutes it's time to get a trash can, paper towels, and wipes ready. If it's been 45-50 minutes you are probably in the clear and can get them dressed again.

P.S. for those who are interested and per Wikipedia, there is actually a term for people afraid of vomit: Emetophobia. Anyone else in the emetophobia club?

Any other vomit-seasoned parents have words of advice that they would like to add?

Toddler rainy day activities: SesameStreet.org

Okay, since leaving San Diego with it's 364 annual days of sunshine I have had to deal with a totally foreign issue: how to entertain my toddler on rainy days.

Now I don't live in Seattle, but it's rainy enough in the Bay Area that this has become an issue. Coupled with the fact that I have a very very active boy who is not the type of entertain himself for more than five minutes at a time this problem has forced me to be more creative.

It was raining earlier this week and we stumbled onto SesameStreet.org. To my son with his "O" (short for Elmo) obsession this website is like manna from heaven. They even have a playlist that is all Elmo so your toddler does not have to face the frustration of being deprived of this red furry monster for even a moment.

One of the cool things we found was a virtual coloring book that allows you to print blank pages to color in, or color them in online with their brush tool. Since it was Valentine's Day we made this little picture.

Made by a two year old, with a little help.

Of course even Sesame Street and Elmo only entertain for so long. Some other things my son enjoys are playing with stamps, "coloring" in his coloring book, finger painting, helping me do laundry, helping me cook, and of course zooming around on his ride-on McQueen car, and watching the movie Cars whenever I let him. I would love to hear from parents of other toddlers (preferably toddlers who are not big at playing by themselves) on how they make the hours pass on those long rainy days.

Crappy Pictures - Parenting blog extraordinaire

I have not had much time for writing my own blog posts lately, but I have been looking at an excellent blog  that one of my best friends and mommy mentors referred me to: Crappy-Pictures.

Here are two excellent and hilariously true posts:
1. Why moms are like rock stars!
2. Why moms needs drugs (of the coffee and wine variety)

This mom is seriously creative and her whole blog is filled with crappy pictures to illustrate her humorous reflections.

Long boring day at work? Kids napping or otherwise giving you a few minutes of downtime? Check it out for a smile.

Gotta Love The Onion

Area Dad Figures He's Got At Least Three More Months Of Screwing Around Before Son Gains Ability To Form Long-Term Memories

Yeah, I've thought the same thing from time to time!

Toddler phone apps

So I'm not a big fan of handing my toddler my smartphone, simply because he has a knack for breaking things in the blink of an eye. However, there are times that I am desperate to keep him entertained and the phone has been invaluable. I'm thinking in particular of the tortuously long plane rides from West coast to East coast and a few long road trips.

Here are the top three apps my two year old son loves:

1. Toddler Zoo ($0.99)
With this app kids swipe side to side to see images of different animals, they can click on the animals name to hear the name spoken, or tap anywhere on the screen to hear the sound that animal makes - endless fun.

2. Talking Tom (Free)
This app has a cutesy looking cat that mimics everything your toddler says in a high squeaky funny cat voice. He also has some funny antics that make my son smile.

3. Ethereal Dialpad (Free)
This app looks boring from the image, but every since my son was a baby he has loved it. You choose different synthesizer options (like swarm pictured below) and as your fingers goes across the screen the light particles dance in response and it emits different musical notes .

Does anyone else have good recommendations for apps that a two year old would like and would hopefully make a six hour flight pass a little quicker?