Why having a baby who is a bad sleeper early on might be good in the long run

So here is my newest theory*:

If you have a baby who is a really bad sleeper during the first months this may actually be good in the long run, because you will be forced to address and work through sleep issues early in your child's life.

Here is the sequence of events as they happened in my family:

1. my son did not regularly sleep for more than 2 hours at a time for the first four months of his life
2. by the time he was four months old we were all so sleep deprived and miserable that we felt we had to make a big change and we did some sleep training (Ferber style)
3. a week after we started the sleep training everyone was getting so much more sleep, including my son who was happier and better rested. He started taking long naps and only waking up 1x per night
4. at 15 months old he sleeps really well for naps and sleeps through the night from 7:30pm-6:00am (apart from the occasional night when he is sick or teething) 

Now I don't know what it's like to have a young baby who is a "good sleeper", but I do know a few people with older babies who still need to coax their children to sleep each night. A case in point is a friend of mine who was still rocking her baby to sleep when he was eleven months old. Or another mom who still had to breastfeed her baby to sleep every night when he was two years old. There is nothing wrong with doing these things as long as everyone is happy doing them, but this is not always the case.

This post is not intended to encourage people to try sleep training or to criticize certain methods of getting your baby to sleep. My motto is do whatever works for your family. But I am hoping if there are people out there with young babies who are eligible for the "worst sleeper ever" prize you will see that there might be a silver lining to your situation.

At least in my case I am sure that if my son was only waking up 1x or 2x a night at four months old I would have felt no need to do sleep training. But since he was waking up on average about 4x times a night we were desperate and when he was old enough we tried the sleep training.

* As always my theories are based on limited anecdotal evidence.

Egg allergy

My poor boy is allergic to eggs, and I am hoping he will outgrow it. Apparently most kids outgrow egg allergies by the time they start school. Anyone else have experience with this? If so please leave a comment and let me know what happened.

My son has had eggs twice, once when he was 9 months old to see if he was allergic and once by accident when he was 12 months old and both times he ended up with red spots on his face wherever his skin made contact with egg. On both occasions the symptoms disappeared in about 20 minutes.

Fortunately this is a pretty mild allergic reaction, as far as allergies go. And he does not seem to be allergic to eggs in baked products (like cookies, breads, etc.). However, we have steered clear of most things containing eggs to be on the safe side.

Ground Flax-seed is a really nice alternative to egg for anyone looking to cook for someone with allergies and it is really good for you as well. All you do is mix 1 tablespoon flaxseed and 3 tablespoons water and use that to substitute for one egg.

I am still hoping my son will outgrow this allergy as I want him to be able to enjoy all the yummy eggy foods that I love.

Nursing Bras - do not make the mistake I made

Before our baby was born my husband and I went to a childbirth class which was generally pretty good except for one piece of advice the instructor gave us mamas. She said don't go buy a nursing bra now, wait until a couple weeks after the baby is born so you know what size your breasts will be when you are nursing. 


So I am sure this is great advice if you have time to go on a leisurely shopping trip looking for bras when your baby is 2 weeks old! Maybe if you have family who can babysit this would work for you, or maybe if you have one of those babies who are content to sleep in their carseat/stroller as you shop then this would work... or maybe not.


Reasons to buy a couple of nursing bras before your baby is born:

1. take it from me you do not want to spend 2 weeks trying to figure out how to nurse your baby in your old bras which are now too small
2. see above, some babies are not going to tolerate a shopping expedition at two weeks old
3. even if your baby would be happy to shop with you I am sure you have better things to do, like rest and recover from your baby's birth
4. most bras that you buy ahead or time can be returned if the size is an issue

I bought a few bras for nursing and here are my thoughts:

• Medela sleep bra - not so great, started to fray pretty quickly and very thin fabric. 
• I bought a couple bras at Target that do not have a brand name (that I can see), but worked really well.
• what worked out best for me was nursing tank tops that I bought from Target. Big busted ladies this might not be enough support for you, but for me it was perfect and I still sleep in them.

It did take me until my baby was 10 months old to realize that I could just use a large sports bra that is very stretchy as a nursing bra. It is stretchy enough to pull it up from the bottom or down from the top - and much cheaper than most official "nursing" bras.


Make sure you get some nursing pads before your baby arrives as well, leaky boobs are just no fun.


I used these fancy disposable pads by Lansinoh before I discovered that you could buy cloth/washable pads (mine are made by Nuk) which work just as well and reduce trash! I am sure crafty mamas could make their own nursing pads out of cloth. 

The panty liner trick:
In case you get in a tight spot and don't have any nursing pads on hand here is a trick I discovered. Take a panty liner cut it in half and stick it to the inside of my bra.

Extended Rear Facing Car Seats - the "Orphan Seat"

Among car seat safety experts it is common knowledge that babies and toddlers are safest staying in a  rear-facing car seat as long as possible, and an article in today's New York Times Health section tries to bring that message to a broader audience. The article states that the American Academy of Pediatrics recently announced that they advise parents to keep toddlers in a rear-facing car seat until they are at least 2 years old.

Many guidelines tell parents they can turn a car seat around to be forward facing when a child is 1 year old and weighs 20 pounds, but parents do not realize that just because they can does not mean they should. Lots of parents like the idea of turning the car seat forward facing for lots of reasons (easier getting child in and out, can see child from front seat, child seems less cramped, etc.). However, like so many other parenting decisions, the more convenient option is also the less safe option (see my post on drop-side cribs).

Rear-Facing Car Seat

Because babies have weak necks and large heads if they are in a serious accident their heads are thrown forwards and their necks can often snap. On the other hand, if they are facing the back of the car (rear-facing) the force of the accident is mostly absorbed by the car seat.

If you are trying to decide when to turn your child's car seat to forward-facing check out this video on Youtube: "The Importance of Rear-Facing" and cut to time 1:30 when they show a crash test with a forward facing and rear facing car seat.

For me the most striking passage in the NYT article is a quote from a pediatrician, Dr. Baer, who says:

“It’s a horrible term,” she said, “but E.M.T.’s call the rear-facing seat ‘the orphan seat’ because in a bad car accident, that child is often the only one who survives."

Here is some more information about the greater safety of extended rear-facing: Rear-Facing Safety
For more information see my earlier blog post on installing car seats, and advice on getting a car seat safety inspection.

Babywearing - Moby Wrap review

So I have already written about how babywearing changed my life, I thought I should review different carriers, starting with the Moby Wrap.

We heard rave reviews of the Moby wrap from friends, the instructor at our childbirth class, and even the instructor of a baby care class we took in the hospital the day after our son was born. Being cynical people my husband and I were skeptical that any product could be that revolutionary. We even joked that the company that makes these wraps must be giving these people a commission if they can sell more of them. Well we were wrong...

It does take a day or two of practice to learn how to tie the wrap around your body. The first time I saw a friend do it I thought it looked ridiculously complicated, but surprisingly after doing it two or three times it becomes second nature. However, once you master that the rest is pretty easy.

Newborns love to sleep in these wraps. My husband and I both wore our son constantly for the first three months of his life. This was the only way we could guarantee he would fall asleep.

Our preferred position for him as a newborn was the hug hold and also a variation on this where his side was against my chest rather than his tummy. We generally put him in the Moby wrap already swaddled. If he was in a really deep sleep in the Moby Wrap we often would be able to remove him from the wrap and put him down for a nap in his bouncy chair. Sometimes we just continued to wear him while he slept and we did whatever we wanted: watched movies, ate meals, cleaned the house. I also often fell asleep on the couch in a sort of semi-sitting position while my son was asleep wrapped around me. For the first few months with a newborn this was a lifesaver.

Photographing babies - why my second child will hate me

I am not planning to have a second child anytime soon. But I already know that second child will hate me because at some point he/she will discover that there are thousands of baby photos of his/her older brother and only a handful of the second child. I can completely understand why this happens. Everything your first baby does is fascinating. I think the problem is only compounded now that we have digital photography and the instant gratification it provides.

All I can say is that I am glad I was a first child (and a twin). There are plenty of photos of my babyhood!