MamaDrama

Crappy Pictures - Parenting blog extraordinaire

2012-02-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

I have not had much time for writing my own blog posts lately, but I have been looking at an excellent blog that one of my best friends and mommy mentors referred me to: Crappy-Pictures.

Here are two excellent and hilariously true posts:
1. Why moms are like rock stars!
2. Why moms needs drugs (of the coffee and wine variety)

This mom is seriously creative and her whole blog is filled with crappy pictures to illustrate her humorous reflections.

Long boring day at work? Kids napping or otherwise giving you a few minutes of downtime? Check it out for a smile.

Gotta Love The Onion

2012-02-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Area Dad Figures He's Got At Least Three More Months Of Screwing Around Before Son Gains Ability To Form Long-Term Memories

Yeah, I've thought the same thing from time to time!

Toddler phone apps

2012-02-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

So I'm not a big fan of handing my toddler my smartphone, simply because he has a knack for breaking things in the blink of an eye. However, there are times that I am desperate to keep him entertained and the phone has been invaluable. I'm thinking in particular of the tortuously long plane rides from West coast to East coast and a few long road trips.

Here are the top three apps my two year old son loves:

1. Toddler Zoo ($0.99)
With this app kids swipe side to side to see images of different animals, they can click on the animals name to hear the name spoken, or tap anywhere on the screen to hear the sound that animal makes - endless fun.

2. Talking Tom (Free)
This app has a cutesy looking cat that mimics everything your toddler says in a high squeaky funny cat voice. He also has some funny antics that make my son smile.

3. Ethereal Dialpad (Free)
This app looks boring from the image, but every since my son was a baby he has loved it. You choose different synthesizer options (like swarm pictured below) and as your fingers goes across the screen the light particles dance in response and it emits different musical notes .

Does anyone else have good recommendations for apps that a two year old would like and would hopefully make a six hour flight pass a little quicker?

Baby Registry Basics

2011-12-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was pregnant feeling overwhelmed by the task of creating a baby registry. Now that my son is 2 years old I can look back and say that certain items were indispensable and others useless. I have already sent out a modified version of this list to several friends facing the daunting task of being a first time parent deciding what you need/want for your baby.

All of the things on this list I found very useful. All babies are different, but if you are looking for suggestions this may be a helpful place to start. If you have tons or money or tons of spaces you could add lots of items to this list, but I think of these as the essentials.

1. Baby Carriers/Baby Wearing: I think baby carriers are a must have and need to be top of the list (especially if you have a colicky or high needs newborn). I used a Moby Wrap almost non-stop during the newborn months (see my review here). I loved the Moby, although I never could figure out how to breastfeed in it. Another great carrier that is worth it's weight in gold is the Ergo (see more on baby wearing and the Ergo in this older blog post). I did not use the Ergo with my newborn, so I can not vouch for how that works. But starting at about 4 months it was a lifesaver.

Baby carriers are a hot topic and it is worth looking at all the options besides the standard Baby Bjorn, which is reputedly back for parent's backs and baby's too. TheBabyWearer is a great website with tons of baby carrier recommendations. Unfortunately a lot of the best carriers are not available at Target or BabiesRUs (the most popular baby registry stores), but it is worth looking elsewhere like Diapers.com. Also beware many of the carriers stocked by these chains are uncomfortable, unsafe, or too expensive and not very effective.

My son when he was 7 months old in our SweetPea Ring Sling.

The ring sling is the one I would recommend for the newborn period offering the best combination of comfort and ease of breastfeeding while carrying - the only disadvantage is that Dad's may think it looks girly and be less inclined to use it!

2. Bouncer: A simple bouncer is priceless, and we used to carry it around the house from room to room (sometimes while our son was asleep inside it). For the first few months our baby slept a lot in his bouncer even at night. We had the cheapest Fisher Price bouncer that had a vibrate mode and it worked fine for our purposes. We could even swaddle our son and strap him in to sleep when he was a newborn. Bouncers can get very fancy and pricey, as can swings. But for most purposes the simplest one is as good as the one with all the doodads.

3. Strollers: Instead of getting a stroller. We got a base that the carseat just straps into. Most models of infant car seats work with this base. It's very light and really easy to put in the back of the car and much simpler than buying a bigger stroller - which you can always do later... With the base if you are lucky and your baby falls asleep in the car seat you can transfer him or her from the car to the stroller without waking up (or vice versa)!

Car seat base - just clip the car seat in and go.

Maclaren Triumph

There are lots of stroller/infant carseat combos that you can buy, like these from Graco, but to me they all felt too big. On the topic of strollers, when my son was about 6 months and able to sit up we started using this Maclaren Triumph stroller. I bought it for about $115 on Amazon.com and I have logged many hundreds of miles on it. It is a work horse but ultra light and really handy for folding with one hand and lifting into your car, carrying upstairs, folding up and stashing in a small apartment, etc. I did buy a jogging stroller made by InStep, and I love it, but rarely use it for actual jogging, so it was sort of a waste in that sense.

Good swaddler with velcro!

4. Clothes: All the newborn clothes are adorably cute but we had so many that our son never even wore. If you are going to buy a lot of clothes or put them on a registry I would choose mostly 3-6 months and even 6-9 months. For us we were changing diapers so much the first few weeks that we basically just kept him in these cute shirts from Target (so we did not have to keep unsnapping onesies) and then swaddled him. We tried a couple different swaddle blankets, but the ones that worked for us were these: Summer Infant SwaddleMe, and we bought them in a couple different colors/fabrics. Basic blankets work well too, but we found that it was sort of difficult to find them in the exact size that works best for swaddling, we either had too much fabric or not enough.

On the clothes topic, here are some things my son never used: baby mittens, baby booties, and baby hats. Granted I lived in San Diego so he did not need as much cold weather gear. That said, he never had a problem with scratching his face (one reason people put mittens on babies), and he was swaddled so much that keeping his hands and feet warm was not an issue. Also most of the newborn onesies we had were footed so socks weren't necessary. I think if we lived in a colder climate he would have worn a hat more outside, but inside it was always warm enough and most newborns spend most of their time indoors. Another item my son never used was a pacifier. We had tons of these given to us and even though I would have given my right arm to get him to use one when he was a newborn and very colicky he never took to them. In retrospect I am glad, since it seems like a habit that would have been hard to break. Like lots of other baby decisions some people feel very passionately either for or against pacifiers. You don't have to decide whether to use them before your baby is born, but it might be good to be aware of both sides of the argument (as it is with other things like co-sleeping, formula feeding, etc.) The list of controversial baby topics is sort of endless.

5. Baby Sleeping/Changing Area. If you are going to have your baby in the bedroom or in the bed with you at the beginning the best thing you can do is to set up your bedroom so that everything is within an arm's reach (read more about how co-sleeping worked for us here). Especially the first few days when you are recovering from the birth you are so tired that getting out of bed can be a pain. We had an extra changing pad on a table at the bottom of our bed, baby clothes in a little plastic bin, a laptop for watching netflix movies, a water bottle and painkillers on the night table, etc. I was basically camped out there for a while with the baby. I spent so much time in the last trimester worried that we would not get the baby's room ready and our baby did not sleep in his crib or go in his room until he was 4 months old. So don't sweat finishing the baby's room if you are feeling pressured. What my baby did sleep in for the first four months was the bouncer, a swing, and our bed (co-sleeping next to me). What he never slept in was the pack n'play I set up right next to the bed. Our son had a lot of trouble sleeping as a newborn, but a lot of people very successfully use a pack n play, or a co-sleeper that attaches to the bed.

Although you probably won't use a crib at the beginning, some lucky parents have newborns who take to sleeping in cribs early. If you are looking for a good value in a crib we got a Leksvik crib from Ikea, after reading Consumer Reports rating it highly and it has been perfect for us (despite some sweat and grumbling trying to put it together). Similarly, although your baby might not sleep in a pack n play at the beginning our toddler still uses ours when we travel so some items that you buy up front may be useful in the long haul.

Standard Boppy pillow

6. Breastfeeding Gear - I used the "Brest Friend pillow" and thought it was really helpful. Another really popular one is the Boppy. I tried this too and I think it is fine, but not as supportive as the brest friend pillow for breastfeeding. Also a lot of people like the boppy pillow because when your baby starts sitting up it doubles as a good place to prop them up while they are developing back muscles.

Standard Brest Friend Pillow

Another recommendation for moms who plan on breast feeding. If you buy a good carrier, a lot of them allow you to walk around and do other stuff while your baby eats. The best one for breastfeeding that I found was a ring sling, the one I have was made by SweetPea Ring Slings. A ring sling and the idea of walking around while breast feeding might seem daunting for first time moms, but it is easier than it looks and there is a big supportive community online offering advice on how to use ring slings and how to hold your baby in different positions. For example there are lots of youtube videos (see how to use a ring sling) and websites devoted to this topic. Also once it hits you that your baby is eating 8-12 times a day as a newborn and at least for my baby he liked to eat for almost an hour each time, you are going to get tired of being chained to a chair while your baby eats.

You might also want to prepare a breastfeeding station for those times that you are sitting in one spot for an hour. A mama friend gave me a big water bottle that I could hold, open, and drink from with one hand, and this was indispensable. You need to drink a lot when breast feeding. I liked to have that, my phone (so I could be Bejeweled), and maybe some snacks, books, or the remote for the TV nearby. Lots of people also make sure they have burp cloths, and whatever else they need for baby nearby.

One final note about breastfeeding. Even if you don't plan to co-sleep with your baby during the night, learning to breastfeed lying down can allow you to be more relaxed and maybe doze while your baby eats, read more about my experience with this here.

7. Car Seat: There are a million car seat to choose from and I think most are very good. If you are on a tight budget you may want the convertible car seat (which can be used from newborn size on up) because then you won't need to two car seats for the same time period. However, I would advise you to buy the infant car seat (instead of a convertible car seat) for two reasons: (a) these seats fit infants better than the bigger seats, and (b) if your baby falls asleep you can lift them in and out of the car while they are still sleeping. I can not overstate the importance of this feature!

Let's assume you are buying an infant car seat. As far as infant car seats I learned the hard way is that you should buy a car seat that has straps that are adjustable in the front (i.e. where baby is sitting). We bought a great car seat from Graco, but you had to adjust the straps to tighten them in the back, which was a giant pain.

The strap hanging down the front is used to adjust the seat belt.

The straps that adjust the seat belt are in the back.

Since for safety you really need to tighten them each time you put the baby in it is a great convenience to have the straps adjusters in front (and most seats are made this way). On the topic of car seats, please do yourself a favor and have an expert inspect your car seat installation. This service is free and they teach you so much, see my blog post for more info.

One more note on infant car seats. They make infant car seats that go up to various height and weight limits. For example, my car seat was listed as working up to 22 pounds or when the child reached 29 inches (whichever comes first). I've noticed car seats advertised as up to 30 pounds or 30 inches (i.e. Graco 30). Now I know by the time my son was 6 months old he was already getting heavy to lug around in the car seat. If you want to leave the car seat in the car then maybe the 30 pound limit will allow you to use it longer, but I would not want to carry a 30 pound baby around in that thing. Also most kids will hit the height limit before they hit the weight limit so you may need to upgrade your car seat just as quickly after all. A quick look at growth chart shows that the average one year old is about 29-30 inches and 22 pounds.

8. Baby Bathtub: I got a very simple but cute whale bathtub for my son and it worked perfectly for us. The key criteria are how it supports your baby and secondly whether it is easy to clean or prone to collecting grime. This one works great. My son used it with the attachment in place until he could sit on his own (about 7 months) and then used the tub until he was at least a year old. Once he started walking he wanted to walk everywhere including the tub, so we had to stop using it. However, I am a big advocate of using these tubs as long as possible as it saves water: good for the environment and for your water bill.

Even though I loved this bathtub I should point out that when babies are newborns they really don't need baths. At the infant care class we took at the hospital after our son was born the instructor told us it is best just to give newborns a bath with a wash cloth and warm water, uncovering only the bits that you are cleaning to keep the rest of their tiny bodies warm. Also newborns really don't get very dirty, well yes their diaper end does, but you clean that each time you change the diaper. The rest of them stay pretty amazingly clean and perfect. My son probably had 6 baths in the first 3 months of his life and that was because I felt like I should, not because he was actually dirty. I have seen bathtub's advertised that fit in the sink for giving newborn's bath, like this one, but I'm not sure why you would pay twice as much for something that won't last as long as the standard infant bathtub.

9. High Chair: Depending on the size of your kitchen/dining area and your personal preferences you can choose between a full size standalone high chair or the kind of high chair that straps on to a regular kitchen chair. I have no experience with the standalone size high chairs, because I think they seem very clunky and I have always lived in a small place.

Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair

Fisher Price Booster Seat

We have used these two high chairs: the Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair (about $55) and the Fisher Price Healthy Care Booster Seat ($25). The Space Saver chair was great because it reclined and starting at about 6 months my son could recline in it and hold his own bottle. It is also comfy and supportive. However, if I had it to do over again I would probably skip the bigger chair and go straight to buying the booster seat.

The booster seat is smaller, easier to clean, good for traveling, and I know lots of people who use them as soon as babies start eating and can sit up on their own (which usually happens about the same time). The covers on high chairs, like the cover on the Space Saver can get pretty yucky while kids are learning to eat. It took me a few months to realize you can just take off the cover and have your baby sit on the plastic. It's easier to clean and with all that baby fat I don't think they notice much of a difference. The biggest thing to consider when buying a high chair (other than safety) is how easy it is to clean. They can get pretty nasty; fewer straps, plastic surfaces, and fewer cracks and seams are priorities.

Items for mamas:

You are going to spend a lot of time thinking about how to prepare things for the baby, but it pays off to do a few things for yourself toward the end of your pregnancy. It doesn't hurt to do some serious cooking before your due date and freeze meals that you can reheat easily later. Even more important take care of yourself, find time to relax and cherish whatever sleep and quiet time you can get! However, there are a few items that will be handy for you to buy before the baby arrives.

1. Buy a water bottle that you can drink from with one hand for breastfeeding (if you plan on breastfeeding). A lot of newborns eat really slow, my son used to take 45-60 minutes per meal and you do that 8-10 times per day. You get really thirsty!

2. Buy a couple of nursing bras before you have the baby and just guess at the size or get something really stretchy. For me it was a big hassle to find a way to go out bra shopping with a newborn. If you have family in town who can watch the baby for you for a while that is great (or if your husband is going to be home for a while). If you have family nearby and/or a husband who is going to get lots of time off when the baby is born then you can wait on some of this stuff and you are a lucky girl. Read more about this in another blog post. More importantly buy some nursing pads (either disposable or cloth) for the inevitable leaking.

3. We bought a video camera before our son was born and it has been awesome for sharing with family who are out of town what he is like and how he is growing up. You can upload videos to Picasa albums or use Vimeo for a similar service.

4. There is an Baby app for your smartphone that I found really useful called Baby ESP (Eat, Sleep, Poop). You can use it to track when your baby last ate, sleeping times, nap times, everything. I found it to be particularly helpful when we were sleep training our son. Here is my blog entry on the app.

I could make a whole separate list of things that we ended up buying or getting as gifts that we never needed. Babies really need very little the first few months, just lots of love and holding! But after we bought a swing and Max slept in it for a month then decided he did not like it anymore I found out I could buy big items (like swings, strollers, play pens, etc.) on Craigslist. If you want to save money this is a great way to do it.

There is probably something essential that I forgot to put on this list, so if you are reading and can think of something I missed feel free to leave a comment and I can add your suggestion to this list.

Baby Marketing Ploys

2011-10-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

I just received this flyer in the mail with a big picture of an adorable baby who looks like he just started walking and behind him looking proud and excited his mother softly out of focus. I assumed this was a mailing for some baby product, like all the others. No, this flyer is advertising earthquake insurance.

Does anybody have a clue what they are doing with this photo?

I imagine a photo of a real earthquake, maybe a house disintegrated into rubble and people looking dusty, wounded, and bloody might not sell insurance well. But what's with the baby? Was this just a generic stock photo that the company thought would make people stop and read their brochure? Are babies supposed to bring out our generic protective instinct? Are we supposed to think about how horrifying it would be if this baby was leveled by an earthquake just after he learned to walk, because that's what I thought.

Even creepier... does this marketing campaign somehow know I am a parent? Did some corporation sell an advertising company my data? Do they send other people mailing with different pictures? Do seniors get an image of a happy couple sitting on porch swing.

Anyway I do not plan on buying the insurance, but the flyer certainly got me thinking.

Books - The Runaway Bunny

2011-10-03T20:31:00.000-07:00

Not sure if it is maternal hormones or what, but I just love this story: "The Runaway Bunny" by Margaret Wise Brown and illustrated by Clement Hurd.

The pair that constructed this book are also the author and illustrator of "Goodnight Moon", but I think this is actually my favorite of the pair.

The story begins:
Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away.
So he said to his mother, "I am running away".
"If you run away," said his mother, "I will run after you.
For you are my little bunny."

The little bunny proceeds to explain to his mother all the places he will run away and all the things he will turn into, and his mother explains that no matter where he goes she will follow him and find him. It perfectly captures how I feel about my son.

It does not help my emotional side that this book was in a heartbreaking scene in the movie "Wit".

Toddler tears?

2011-09-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

My son cries as much as any other toddler, but the weird thing is he never cries with tears. You know the big alligator tears you see on so many kids when they fall down or throw a tantrum or someone looks at them the wrong way, not my son.

I was struck by this the other day when we were playing with a neighbor and her two year old and in the span of 10 seconds this little boy went from happy to crying with great big globs of tears sliding down his face. Now my son is perfectly capable of going from happy to sad in 10 seconds, but there are never tears.

I feel really lucky to have been spared this aspect of drama with my son. I know you would probably get used to it if your kid did it, but tears on a little guy make me so so sad. I think I have seen my son's eyes get teary once, one of the times he fell and really hurt himself, but I don't think I ever saw a teardrop slide down his cheeks.

So my question is... how common is this? I know most children do cry with tears, will my son eventually develop this trait or is it something he will learn? Do any other parents have young children that do not cry with tears. My son is 20 months now and still no tears.

Eye-Fi cards uploading photos without cords!

2011-08-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

So if you are a parent like me who takes tons of photos of your child and is annoyed by the process of transferring those files onto your computer then you need to put the Eye-Fi card on your wish list.

It looks like a regular SD memory card (the kind of memory that most point and shoot digital cameras use these days). But instead of plugging your camera into your computer, or taking out the SD card and putting it into a card reader the Eye-Fi cards stays in your camera and all you do is bring your camera close to your computer and the images transfer wirelessly to your computer.

The advantage of not having to find and use yet another cord to transfer photos is a surprisingly big deal. This is a better, faster, way of getting those photos onto your computer so you can share them with family and friends even faster.

They now even have a version of the card to be used for smart phones or the iPad. The list price for the basic 4GB card is $50 and the 8GB version is $100. Perfect to put on your holiday or birthday wish list :)

Netflix for Kids

2011-08-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

Not sure when Netflix made this addition to their website, but I noticed it today. There is a new tab at the top called "Just for Kids". Love it!

You can sort through videos by looking at a list of characters, such as one of my son's favorites: Shaun the Sheep...

The character list is full of big thumbnail photos of the characters so that, presumably, even non-reading little tykes can navigate to what they want to watch on their own.

The first haircut photo

2011-08-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

So my son had his first professional hair cut at 18 months so he looked presentable for his Aunt's wedding. I have seen photos of other kids about his age getting their hair cut on Facebook and in other places. They are happy kids sitting calmly in a chair, or even if they are not happy they are not trying to claw their way out of the chair. I knew that my son was never going to be one of those kids.

Sad, pathetic, miserable boy

Now I am going to show you something most people do not post online - a photo of their child being extremely unhappy and crying while trying to escape a haircut. I think I am doing other parents a favor by showing the dark side of hair cuts. Not every toddler sits placidly while a stranger takes sharp objects and buzzing machines and touches their head with them.

The stylist who cut my son's hair was a saint with superhuman patience and courage. The whole salon was entertained by his crying and frantic attempts to escape my arms. One good samaritan told me that I really needed a photo of this event for posterity, and so I gave him my cell phone and voila: the moment is frozen in time.

When I look through photos of my son, in about 99% of them he is calm and very happy. But other parents know this is not exactly representative of toddler behavior. I tend to grab the camera when he is being irresistibly adorable or silly. But I rarely have an impulse to grab the camera when he is kicking and screaming. Maybe we should take more photos of the bad times and post them on the internet. At the very least it will make other parents realize that they are not alone!


After the haircut - happy once again

Sesame Street - Letter B

2011-08-17T10:40:00.000-07:00

In the last three months my son has started being really excited about TV. I know this is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because this gives me a few minutes to wash dishes or clean up without him clinging to my legs or begging to be picked up or play. It is a curse because now when he wants to watch TV he gets up on the couch and starts pointing furiously at the TV and saying "dat" (which his generic word for everything he wants). Or he goes and gets me the remote and brings it to me. Nothing will deter this boy when he wants to watch TV (except of course his all time favorite activity going outside to play).

He has two favorite shows: Pingu and Sesame Street. Both fortunately have lots of episodes available on Netflix watch instantly. He adores Pingu and I will write about it another time. But it is watching Sesame Street with my son that is the most fun for me. It is making me nostalgic for memorable Sesame Street moments from my childhood, here is one of the best:

"When I find I can't remember what comes after A and before C, my mother always whispers letter B" can this be any cuter?

One website I visited in my quest to find this "Letter B" episode claimed that the company that owned the Beatles music tried to sue Sesame Street because of this spoof - heartless bastards! Apparently this episode first aired in 1983, in the prime of my Sesame Street watching years.

So today friends I have not thought about for 25 years like Count von Count, Grover, Big Bird, Snuffleupagus, Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch have come back into my life. I am not (so far) as big of a fan of the new characters like Elmo, but maybe they will grow on me. Other additions since my childhood, like Mr. Noodle, sort of creep me out.

But nothing beats watching your kid get excited about something, even if it is TV. The other day there was an episode for the letter J showing kids jumping in all different places all over the world and my 19 month old son got off the couch and started jumping around on the floor with a giant smile on his face. It doesn't get any better than that :)

Medication dosage chart

2011-08-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

At a recent visit to our nurse-practitioner when my son was we got into a discussion about how tracking the correct dosages of medications can be confusing. The nurse-practitioner gave us a chart of the dosages for Acetaminophen (Tylenol), Ibuprofen (Advil), and Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) by weight.

I wish we had received this chart earlier. It would be nice if it were mandatory that doctors give it to parents at their first well-baby check-up. I am sure it is easy to find all this information online, but it is nice to have it in one document that is doctor-approved.

Here it is for anyone who wants to use it. I know it is not very pretty since it is a scanned photocopy, but at least the information is there.

"No", "Careful", and "Gentle": top 3 words of toddlerdom

2011-07-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

So my son is 19 months old and I talk to him a lot, but the three words that I seem to say the most these days are:

"No" as in "no hitting", "no biting", "no throwing"
"Careful" as in "careful when you climb onto very high pieces of furniture and start jumping you are probably going to fall and hurt yourself"
"Gentle" as in "gentle with the cat, if you pull his tail really hard he is going to get mad"

These are just examples of the countless ways in which I use these words each day. Is it just me or do all parents of toddlers find these words coming out of their mouths way too often?

So my question for parents of other active toddlers is when do these three words start to fade from your vocabulary?

Travel tips - use an overnight diaper

2011-06-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a trip to Chicago with my 18 month old son and consequently have a long list of travel tips, some of which I knew in advance and some of which I learned the hard way.

Not sure where I first heard this tip about overnight diapers, but it works beautifully so I want to share it. If you are traveling with your baby/toddler instead of using a regular diaper on the airplane, put them in one of those special ultra absorbent overnight diapers right before you get on the plane.

My son sleeps in these types of diapers at night and they can hold a lot of pee without getting uncomfortable or leaking. We use the Pampers brand and they advertise that they last for 12 hours and I would say that is about right.

I will do anything to avoid changing my son in those tiny smelly airplane bathrooms!

Nusery University - warning do not watch if you live in NYC

2011-06-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

So if anyone is in a mood to procrastinate, has a toddler, and a netflix streaming account then check out this documentary about parents trying to get their kids into "elite" preschools in NYC "Nursery University"

Either it will make you feel good about the price and options for pre-school in your neck of the woods or if you live in New York and are a Type-A personality it might make you start to freak out about your child's chances of getting in to an Ivy League university. In fact if you live in NYC I would not advice watching this movie at all, it is a little too disturbing.

The impression I got from watching most of the parents in this documentary is that even two year olds are old enough to enter the rat race.

Some of the parents come across as pretty scary. They seem convinced that a good pre-school would feed into a good elementary school, then acceptance into an elite private high school and then a spot at an Ivy League university, a good job and then ultimately a chance to shepherd their own children through the crazy school admissions game.

However, the pre-school staff and other parents seem to realize that this much hype about pre-school is crazy and that nursery does not seal your fate! Chalk this one up as one more reason not to live in NYC.

The Fourth Trimester theory

2011-06-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

I wholeheartedly agree with the idea that newborns really need a "fourth trimester" of pregnancy, hence their first three months of life they are essentially not ready for life on the outside. Pregnancy.org has an article written by Dr. Karp explaining his theory about the "fourth trimester" and its relationship to colic. ParentMap has a shorter explanation of this fourth trimester phenomenon.

For a while we tried to follow the advice from the book Happiest Baby on the Block, by Dr. Karp. While his theory of the "fourth trimester" makes perfect sense, his advice on getting babies to calm down only helped us sporadically and it was a lot more work than simply putting baby in a baby carrier and walking around - which had a 99% success rate. I am sure if we were more studious and serious about his methods we would have had better luck. Basically his advice calls for using five techniques to calm your newborn - the 5 S's:

swaddling
side/stomach position
shushing
swinging
sucking

The thing that seemed to help my son most was being held stomach down, we got the most bang for our buck out of that technique. Other things, like sucking, were pretty unhelpful. He did sometimes suck on a finger but he never was interested in pacifiers.

Any feedback from readers on this theory and whether using the 5 S's made a big difference to them?

Thousand dollar stroller?!

2011-05-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

Could someone please explain to me what prompts someone to spend $1049.99 on a stroller?

Seriously, I am speechless!!!

Here are the details - Stokke stroller.

News that is not news: young mothers eat poorly and exercise less than non-mothers

2011-05-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

Common sense: young mother + young child = no time for healthy cooking or exercising

So why did someone bother writing this article in the NYT Health section about how young mothers eat less healthy foods and exercise less than other people?

Seriously when you are sleep-deprived and exhausted and your baby or toddler finally lays down to take a nap what are you going to do?
a. wash and chop vegetables and cook a healthy meal
b. get on the treadmill or take out the yoga dvd
c. lie down on the couch/bed and try to relax and hopefully sleep

I'm guessing even non-parents can guess which answer is correct. Okay, enough being snarky. Obviously the issue is a little more complex than I am making it seem. However, I always chuckle a little when I see these kind of findings and file them away in my brain under "news that is not news to anyone".

Babies and technology: ipod boy

2011-04-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

I had no idea that my son ever really noticed my ipod until last weekend when he went over to my desk, stood on his tiptoes, grabbed my ipod, and proceeded to stick the earbuds into his ears (or try to). He then walked around holding the earphones to his ears and looking ridiculously cute until I turned the ipod on and then put the earphones back up to his ears - which he loved.

The only time I really wear the earphones around my son is when I take him on a long walk or run in the stroller and I will sometimes bring the ipod. Clearly he noticed! Here is a pic of him holding the earphone up to one ear. You think Apple will want to use him for their next set of advertisements, they could start marketing to a whole new set of consumers ;)

iToddler

2x Roseola

2011-04-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

It is scary to see your baby have a fever, but after two bouts with Roseola I can say if he has to have a fever this is the one I would choose.

My son has had Roseola twice, once at about 10 months old and again at about 13 months old.
The fever got pretty high, around 103, and stayed high for 4-5 days. In general my son was acting fairly normal. The fever worried us, but we called our pediatrician who told us Roseola was going around and said the fever was a good sign that his body was fighting the infection, and unless he seemed to be in pain or discomfort we did not need to give him any medication.

There were a few nights we gave him Tylenol because he was having trouble sleeping, but in general he was his regular happy self, just with a fever. By the fifth day, just as his temperature was dropping, I saw tiny red spots on his tummy and back, they got brighter and then disappeared over the course of maybe a day and half.

Apparently the days when a fever was considered dangerous (my mother's and grandmother's generation) have been replaced by the contemporary medical wisdom that the fever is the body's way of fighting off an infection and you should not interfere with it (of course if your baby is under six months old I think different rules apply). All things considered if your baby has to be sick this is a pretty easy illness to handle.

Memories of childbirth - the broken bed

2011-04-04T13:57:00.000-07:00

For some reason I recently remembered one of the most stupidly grueling parts of my labor and delivery experience and I thought it would be a nice start to a series of blog posts on childbirth.

Not sure you have the patience to read my birth story all in one sitting, let's just say it's hard to summarize quickly. But a few days ago I remembered a low point. I was in miserable pain with what is known as "back labor" (I would not wish this on my worst enemy) and they had just wheeled me back into the delivery room after a scare during which they took me to the Operating Room and got ready to do an emergency c-section. Well the c-section was not necessary (big relief), but when we got back to the delivery room they found out the high-tech million dollar hospital bed I was on was broken. So they wheeled in another fancy bed and told me to climb onto it.

Should be easy right? Well I was at a point where I could barely think straight, speaking was tough, and moving was excruciating. I was about 6 cm dilated and lying down in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask, an IV in my arm, a blood pressure cuff, and heart rate monitors strapped around my belly. I started to try to move and got tangled in cords and sheets. I felt like they were asking me to climb Mount Everest, and for some reason none of the nurses seemed inclined to help me get onto the other bed. Anyway, to make a long story short it felt like it took me 20 minutes to climb from one bed onto the other bed. It probably took me five minutes and all of my concentration. Seems really funny now, but at at the time I was not so thrilled. Fortunately after that things got better and in the end my son arrived healthy and adorable!

Why having a baby who is a bad sleeper early on might be good in the long run

2011-03-30T11:33:00.000-07:00

So here is my newest theory*:

If you have a baby who is a really bad sleeper during the first months this may actually be good in the long run, because you will be forced to address and work through sleep issues early in your child's life.

Here is the sequence of events as they happened in my family:

my son did not regularly sleep for more than 2 hours at a time for the first four months of his life
by the time he was four months old we were all so sleep deprived and miserable that we felt we had to make a big change and we did some sleep training (Ferber style)
a week after we started the sleep training everyone was getting so much more sleep, including my son who was happier and better rested. He started taking long naps and only waking up 1x per night
at 15 months old he sleeps really well for naps and sleeps through the night from 7:30pm-6:00am (apart from the occasional night when he is sick or teething)

Now I don't know what it's like to have a young baby who is a "good sleeper", but I do know a few people with older babies who still need to coax their children to sleep each night. A case in point is a friend of mine who was still rocking her baby to sleep when he was eleven months old. Or another mom who still had to breastfeed her baby to sleep every night when he was two years old. There is nothing wrong with doing these things as long as everyone is happy doing them, but this is not always the case.

This post is not intended to encourage people to try sleep training or to criticize certain methods of getting your baby to sleep. My motto is do whatever works for your family. But I am hoping if there are people out there with young babies who are eligible for the "worst sleeper ever" prize you will see that there might be a silver lining to your situation.

At least in my case I am sure that if my son was only waking up 1x or 2x a night at four months old I would have felt no need to do sleep training. But since he was waking up on average about 4x times a night we were desperate and when he was old enough we tried the sleep training.

* As always my theories are based on limited anecdotal evidence.

Egg allergy

2011-03-28T12:28:00.000-07:00

My poor boy is allergic to eggs, and I am hoping he will outgrow it. Apparently most kids outgrow egg allergies by the time they start school. Anyone else have experience with this? If so please leave a comment and let me know what happened.

My son has had eggs twice, once when he was 9 months old to see if he was allergic and once by accident when he was 12 months old and both times he ended up with red spots on his face wherever his skin made contact with egg. On both occasions the symptoms disappeared in about 20 minutes.

Fortunately this is a pretty mild allergic reaction, as far as allergies go. And he does not seem to be allergic to eggs in baked products (like cookies, breads, etc.). However, we have steered clear of most things containing eggs to be on the safe side.

Ground Flax-seed is a really nice alternative to egg for anyone looking to cook for someone with allergies and it is really good for you as well. All you do is mix 1 tablespoon flaxseed and 3 tablespoons water and use that to substitute for one egg.

I am still hoping my son will outgrow this allergy as I want him to be able to enjoy all the yummy eggy foods that I love.

Nursing Bras - do not make the mistake I made

2011-03-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

Before our baby was born my husband and I went to a childbirth class which was generally pretty good except for one piece of advice the instructor gave us mamas. She said don't go buy a nursing bra now, wait until a couple weeks after the baby is born so you know what size your breasts will be when you are nursing.

So I am sure this is great advice if you have time to go on a leisurely shopping trip looking for bras when your baby is 2 weeks old! Maybe if you have family who can babysit this would work for you, or maybe if you have one of those babies who are content to sleep in their carseat/stroller as you shop then this would work... or maybe not.

Reasons to buy a couple of nursing bras before your baby is born:

take it from me you do not want to spend 2 weeks trying to figure out how to nurse your baby in your old bras which are now too small
see above, some babies are not going to tolerate a shopping expedition at two weeks old
even if your baby would be happy to shop with you I am sure you have better things to do, like rest and recover from your baby's birth
most bras that you buy ahead or time can be returned if the size is an issue

I bought a few bras for nursing and here are my thoughts:

Medela sleep bra - not so great, started to fray pretty quickly and very thin fabric.
I bought a couple bras at Target that do not have a brand name (that I can see), but worked really well.
what worked out best for me was nursing tank tops that I bought from Target. Big busted ladies this might not be enough support for you, but for me it was perfect and I still sleep in them.

It did take me until my baby was 10 months old to realize that I could just use a large sports bra that is very stretchy as a nursing bra. It is stretchy enough to pull it up from the bottom or down from the top - and much cheaper than most official "nursing" bras.

Make sure you get some nursing pads before your baby arrives as well, leaky boobs are just no fun.

I used these fancy disposable pads by Lansinoh before I discovered that you could buy cloth/washable pads (mine are made by Nuk) which work just as well and reduce trash! I am sure crafty mamas could make their own nursing pads out of cloth.

The panty liner trick:
In case you get in a tight spot and don't have any nursing pads on hand here is a trick I discovered. Take a panty liner cut it in half and stick it to the inside of my bra.

Extended Rear Facing Car Seats - the "Orphan Seat"

2011-03-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

Among car seat safety experts it is common knowledge that babies and toddlers are safest staying in a rear-facing car seat as long as possible, and an article in today's New York Times Health section tries to bring that message to a broader audience. The article states that the American Academy of Pediatrics recently announced that they advise parents to keep toddlers in a rear-facing car seat until they are at least 2 years old.

Many guidelines tell parents they can turn a car seat around to be forward facing when a child is 1 year old and weighs 20 pounds, but parents do not realize that just because they can does not mean they should. Lots of parents like the idea of turning the car seat forward facing for lots of reasons (easier getting child in and out, can see child from front seat, child seems less cramped, etc.). However, like so many other parenting decisions, the more convenient option is also the less safe option (see my post on drop-side cribs).


Rear-Facing Car Seat

Because babies have weak necks and large heads if they are in a serious accident their heads are thrown forwards and their necks can often snap. On the other hand, if they are facing the back of the car (rear-facing) the force of the accident is mostly absorbed by the car seat.

If you are trying to decide when to turn your child's car seat to forward-facing check out this video on Youtube: "The Importance of Rear-Facing" and cut to time 1:30 when they show a crash test with a forward facing and rear facing car seat.

For me the most striking passage in the NYT article is a quote from a pediatrician, Dr. Baer, who says:

“It’s a horrible term,” she said, “but E.M.T.’s call the rear-facing seat ‘the orphan seat’ because in a bad car accident, that child is often the only one who survives."

Here is some more information about the greater safety of extended rear-facing: Rear-Facing Safety
For more information see my earlier blog post on installing car seats, and advice on getting a car seat safety inspection.

Babywearing - Moby Wrap review

2011-03-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

So I have already written about how babywearing changed my life, I thought I should review different carriers, starting with the Moby Wrap.

We heard rave reviews of the Moby wrap from friends, the instructor at our childbirth class, and even the instructor of a baby care class we took in the hospital the day after our son was born. Being cynical people my husband and I were skeptical that any product could be that revolutionary. We even joked that the company that makes these wraps must be giving these people a commission if they can sell more of them. Well we were wrong...

It does take a day or two of practice to learn how to tie the wrap around your body. The first time I saw a friend do it I thought it looked ridiculously complicated, but surprisingly after doing it two or three times it becomes second nature. However, once you master that the rest is pretty easy.

Newborns love to sleep in these wraps. My husband and I both wore our son constantly for the first three months of his life. This was the only way we could guarantee he would fall asleep.

Our preferred position for him as a newborn was the hug hold and also a variation on this where his side was against my chest rather than his tummy. We generally put him in the Moby wrap already swaddled. If he was in a really deep sleep in the Moby Wrap we often would be able to remove him from the wrap and put him down for a nap in his bouncy chair. Sometimes we just continued to wear him while he slept and we did whatever we wanted: watched movies, ate meals, cleaned the house. I also often fell asleep on the couch in a sort of semi-sitting position while my son was asleep wrapped around me. For the first few months with a newborn this was a lifesaver.

Photographing babies - why my second child will hate me

2011-03-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

I am not planning to have a second child anytime soon. But I already know that second child will hate me because at some point he/she will discover that there are thousands of baby photos of his/her older brother and only a handful of the second child. I can completely understand why this happens. Everything your first baby does is fascinating. I think the problem is only compounded now that we have digital photography and the instant gratification it provides.

All I can say is that I am glad I was a first child (and a twin). There are plenty of photos of my babyhood!

Baby teethbrushing

2011-02-26T11:45:00.000-08:00

My fourteen month old son used to scream bloody murder every night when we tried to brush his teeth. I am writing this post to inspire other parents who wonder if the horrendous ear splitting baby screams during teeth brushing will ever end.

He did not start out this way. He started getting teeth at about seven months and for the first few months he would let me brush them lightly with a cloth or a baby toothbrush. But along with the attitude he developed at about twelve months old he decided he did not have to tolerate this kind of invasive behavior any more. So we battled on through and tooth-brushing was literally the most difficult part of our day for a long time. But now finally it seems like the tide may have turned. However, I won't hold my breath. This could just be a phase. I know one of my husband's co-workers literally has to threaten her young children with putting them in a headlock to brush their teeth if they do not do it themselves. Things might also go downhill for us. I would not worry so much but my son has a tendency to get a visible buildup of food stuck between his bottom teeth and I do not want him to start out his life with cavities!

Here is some great advice about tooth-brushing for toddlers that do not like it (I'm guessing this represents the majority of the toddler population). This advice was passed along to me by knowledgeable parents and it has made a big difference.

contain that squirmy kid - try brushing teeth when they are strapped into their high-chair
try using that baby Orajel toothpaste that has a sort of yummy sticky sweet taste
use a baby toothbrush - do not use one of those rubber brushes that you stick over the end of your finger - unless you like having your fingers chomped on by very sharp toddler teeth

Use this yummy toothpaste but do not use the rubber finger brush thingy with a baby with top and bottom teeth unless you want to feel excruciating pain.

My son is still pretty cranky about the whole teeth brushing thing, but at least he doesn't wake up the whole neighborhood. He is in a good mood until I approach with the toothbrush then he throws himself forward trying to escape the highchair. Then he passively accepts his fate as I use one hand to cup his head from behind to keep him still and then use the other hand to brush his teeth.

Of course by brushing his teeth I do not mean two minutes of good solid brushing motions, or whatever it is adults are supposed to achieve. I mean about fifteen seconds of trying to make the toothbrush bristles connect with his four upper teeth and four bottom teeth while he tries to clamp his lips down to stop me. But still this is progress and now that he is no longer yelling so much I am feeling victorious.

Special diaper pails - worth the $?

2011-02-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

Special super duty can

My home diaper disposal station

So in order to put all my cards on the table I should say up front that I never bought one of those special diaper pail/garbage cans and I am naturally pretty frugal. That said I am wondering whether anyone thinks these are worth the money?

These specialty diaper pails are not terribly expensive, maybe $20-$30, but the refill bags seem to be the real moneymakers. They charge about $6-9 for refills and I am not sure how long these refills last - also it seems like it would be a pain to have to shop for the refills.

I have always just used a normal metal garbage can for diapers lined with a basic plastic bag. In fact the same can I use downstairs for scooping the kitty litter is used for diapers. When our son was very tiny we threw all the diapers in there and took it out every few days. As he started eating solid food and the poopy diapers became stink bombs we just put small plastic bags in a basket near his changing table (the kind you get from the grocery store) and threw the nasty diapers directly in those bags and took them out every day.

Any feedback from readers? Are these special diaper pails any good?

Correlation between introduction of solid food and obesity (in formula fed babies)

2011-02-17T15:12:00.000-08:00

So the latest article to catch my eye from the New York Times Health section reports on research which finds an increased risk of obesity in babies who are formula fed and introduced to solid food before 4 months old. Another article which discusses correlation between variables, but is going to suggest causation to millions of readers (for more discussion of this issue see my other post on spurious correlation as related to baby sleep and Autism).

This New York Times article suggests some theories for why timing of solid food could be linked to later obesity:

"It’s not clear why the timing of solid food was linked with obesity risk among the formula-fed babies in the study. It may be that mothers who use formula are less tuned in to their baby’s hunger and satiety cues. Or early feeding of solid food could be a sign of other unhealthy behaviors that influence a child’s weight. For instance, mothers who use formula and offer solid food before four months may have a tendency to use food to soothe a fussy child or be more prone to less healthful eating themselves."

This research smacks of scientific fishing to me. They had this study, Project Viva, with a wealth of data and they found correlations between three variables: formula feeding, timing of introducing solid food, and childhood obesity. I wish we could hear the scientific back story to see how they "found" this link.

Another question that I wondered when I read this article was how do these research projects define "breastfeeding" and "formula feeding". It seems like scientific literature always suggests that these are two distinct groups, even though in practice many mothers do a combination of breastfeeding and formula feeding. This frustration led me to go look up the article in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics and find out their methodology for distinguishing these groups. This is what they did:

"We divided children into 2 groups: breastfed, defined as children who were at least partly breastfed for at least 4 months, and formula-fed, defined as children who were never breastfed or stopped breastfeeding before the age of 4 months."

To me what this means is that many "breastfed" infants may have also been receiving an indeterminate amount of formula. For example, many mothers may breastfeed at night and send their infants to day care with formula during the day. This is just another way in which a supposedly straightforward scientific discovery gets pretty messy the more you look at it. What they were really doing is comparing purely formula fed infants with infants receiving breastmilk but perhaps also supplementing with formula.

In the process of researching this article I found a brief description of when and how to introduce solid food to babies on the American Academy of Pediatric's nifty website for parents: HealthyChildren.org.

Why do babies only bite their mamas?

2011-02-13T11:39:00.000-08:00

About five minutes ago my son bit me extra extra hard in my armpit (ow!!!). He really likes biting me. Sometimes it happens when he is teething, but other times I think he is just doing it for fun or attention. The weird thing is he never bites his dad. What is that all about?

I have talked to several friends with babies/toddlers around my son's age and it appears to be normal for babies to bite their mamas but not their dadas (or daycare providers for that matter). Why do mamas get all the teeth marks and bruises?

I should also point out that I have a cat who never bites my husband, but does from time to time bite me. At least with the cat I am pretty sure it is because my husband is more dominant and will seriously punish him if he bites him. With my son I'm not really sure what is going on...

By the way I do know I should try to break my son of this biting habit and believe me I am trying. The thing is when he bites me a lot of the time it is so unexpected and it is always in the most sensitive places: the inside of my thighs, the backs of my knees, or now my armpit! I tell him no and make him sit by himself for a while, but so far this has not resulted in any serious changes in behavior.

I guess I can console myself with the thought that even though I get to deal with my son's wildest side and worst crying spells, I also get the best snuggles and the most love. I think mamas get the highest highs and the lowest lows of baby behavior.

Anyway I resisted the urge to take a photo of the bruise under my arm which is now turning purple, so I am sure most readers will be happy they do not have to look at that. But if you have kids and have (or have not) experienced this "biting mama only" thing please let me know why you think this happens.

Milestone charts

2011-02-10T11:54:00.000-08:00

Like most parents I go through times when I become worried that my son is falling behind and not meeting "milestones" like the other kids. Poor kid, who knew the rat race started so early?

Babycenter has a pretty helpful little chart that explains when certain skills develop in toddlers (13-18 months) and a couple other charts for the infants (1-6 months and 6-12 months). See all their charts here.

I like that they have divided their charts into three columns for each month:

Mastered Skills (most kids can do)
Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)
Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

I think it helpful for parents to realize that there is a lot of variation in when kids develop different skills. I am particularly hoping that my son will skip one skill that is included under 15 months "Adopts "no" as his favorite word"!

My son did not really start sitting up without support until 6 months, he did not start crawling until 10 months, and did not take steps on his own until he was 1 year. Now he is 14 months old and has just transitioned to the point where he is walking more than crawling. I was so excited for him to walk and now I am both happy and sad he is growing up so fast.

Shaken Baby Syndrome and scientific ambiguity

2011-02-02T16:32:00.000-08:00

Today the New York Times published a story about the scientific ambiguity surrounding Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS). When a baby is hurt or killed I think it is natural for us to want to punish someone. In many cases diagnosed as SBS the caregiver denies ever shaking the baby and typically there are no witnesses to testify. Naturally many people would lie to protect themselves. So the question is how do you determine whether someone is guilty of this offense? This article questions some of the "proof" used to convict people of SBS.

What a sad article! Mainly I feel that this article exposes how terrible it is to be faced with such suffering without understanding the cause. I really think that we always want someone to blame for tragedy. Whether we are blaming a person or a gene (as in the case of genetic disease) we want to know the cause. If medical science could conclusively prove that the brain injury was the result of either SBS or some prior medical condition then we would not have this terrible uncertainty. However, it was this faith in medical science's ability to "conclusively" prove that a crime was committed that led to some terrible wrongful convictions.

Basically what this article argues is this:

Certain very damaging and often fatal injuries in children (brain bleeding and swelling) used to be considered incontrovertible proof of Shaken Baby Syndrome (i.e. that someone had willfully shaken the baby causing this trauma).
This medical evidence was used to convict people for this crime even when there was no other evidence to suggest they hurt the child (for example there were no witnesses, or confessions, etc.)
New scientific findings suggest that these injuries can also be the result of other previously undetected medical problems which might remain hidden until they become acute and potentially fatal.
As a consequence many cases in which people have been convicted of shaking a baby and causing these internal injuries are now thrown into question and several people have either been released from prison or had their cases retried and been cleared of wrongdoing.

The article points out that although it is likely that most infants with these symptoms probably are the victims of abuse, the symptoms alone should not be considered conclusive evidence. Additionally in a court the requirement that someone's guilt be proven "beyond a reasonable doubt" may be hard to establish in these types of Shaken Baby Syndrome cases. Here is a quick summary from the article:

"A dozen years ago, the medical profession held that if the triad of subdural and retinal bleeding and brain swelling was present without a fracture or bruise that would indicate, for example, that a baby had accidently fallen, abuse must have occurred through shaking. In the past decade, that consensus has begun to come undone... A small but growing number of doctors warn that there can be alternate explanations — infections or bleeding disorders, for example — for the triad of symptoms associated with shaken-baby syndrome."

Any thoughts from readers on this article? I really wonder how I would feel if it were my child.

Off topic, but in the passage I quoted is that really how you spell "accidently", I always thought it was "accidentally". Any spelling virtuosos want to weigh in on this?

thank you Cheerios (and General Mills)

2011-01-25T10:47:00.000-08:00

I never thought I would be thanking a behemoth food processing corporation, but I am. I really do not think my son could survive without Cheerios. He is thirteen months old now and his two favorite foods are Cheerios and bananas. His face lights up when he sees his Cheerios and when he is sick this is his chicken soup.

The Cheerios website even devotes a whole page to "New Parents". I guess they are well aware of their power over toddlers via their parents.

Laundry room blues

2011-01-18T20:09:00.000-08:00

So if there is one thing I could change to make my condo better for my family now that we have a child it would be to add a washer/dryer.

I have the laundry room blues. Doing laundry while supervising a baby poses some challenges that I have not been able to solve. Mainly the challenge is what to do with the baby when you run down to the laundry room to put the laundry in the washer, change it to the dryer, and collect it to bring it back. The laundry room in our complex is only about a minute walk away, so each trip only takes at the most five minutes. But babies can get into a world of mischief in five minutes if they are left alone. By the way the same challenge applies to a lot of other daily activities (e.g. how to do the bathroom while watching your baby, how to take out the trash while watching your baby, etc.)

1-3 months (newborn phase): In some ways this was the easiest. My baby slept so much and he usually slept strapped to me in a baby carrier. He was only 7-12 pounds during this time period, so I could easily carry him down to the laundry room with me. Or I could run to the laundry room without him and he would be peacefully asleep the whole time.

3-6 months: This phase was still pretty easy. I still tried to run down to the laundry room during naps, but if he was awake I could put him in his swing or bouncy chair and know that he could not get into any trouble for the five minutes I was gone.

6-9 months: By this point my son was napping less and he was done with his baby swing. I tried carrying him down to the laundry room in his baby carrier, but the weight of him plus the laundry basket was a lot to carry. Also trying to pull stuff out of a deep washer while not squashing your baby is hard. Fortunately he was not crawling yet so I could leave him sitting on the floor surrounded by toys and pillows and the worst that could happen when I was gone was that he would topple over.

9-12 months: Things got complicated. My son is now 20 pounds and carrying him and a laundry basket with me to the laundry room will definitely cause me to break a sweat and/or hurt my back. If I leave him alone on the floor even for thirty seconds he usually manages to get into something or climb on top of something and either a) hurt himself or b) make an unholy mess (or both). I can put him in the crib which makes him sort of unhappy if he is not tired but at least I know he is safe while I am gone.

So the smart reader will be thinking why doesn't this idiot do one of the following:
a) do laundry after her son goes to bed
b) do laundry while her husband is home and can watch the kid
c) install a washer/dryer in the condo

So the bottom line is that I am lazy at night, bad at planning ahead, and not willing to spend the time/money. But a reasonable person could probably avoid all these silly little dilemmas. In the meantime I am envious of my friends who have washers/dryers. However, the one advantage of my situation is that I get to capture moments like this:

My son helping me do the laundry.

Correlation found between Autism and timing of pregnancies

2011-01-13T13:46:00.000-08:00

New research finds that autism is 3x more likely in children who were born less than a year after their older siblings. In other words, something about the time elapsed between pregnancies is related to the odds of having a child with autism. There is speculation that the connection between autism and inter-pregnancy-interval (IPI) might be "related to maternal depletion of key nutrients such as folate".

I am always fascinated by how much mystery and controversy surrounds autism. In this case it seems likely that something about the pre-natal time period is increasing the risk of autism. However, it seems like a good idea to point out once again that correlation is not causation (for a related thread see my discussion of baby sleep and the problem of spurious correlation). The fact that the incidence of autism increases with a shorter interval between pregnancies does not mean a shorter IPI causes autism. However, this research does raise all sorts of questions that could lead us to new knowledge about autism.

As someone who has worked with both children and adults with autism I have always felt that autism was a very complex diagnosis that is probably a result of genetic, environmental, and social processes. Unlike something like Downs' Syndrome I doubt that autism will ever be linked to a discrete gene or chromosome. Although I am happy to see research exploring possible causes or contributing factors to autism, I am wary that research which points to maternal factors as a cause may lead us down the path of blaming parents. In the early 20th century "bad mothers" were commonly seen as causing mental retardation among children (see Trent's book "Inventing the Feeble Mind" 1994), and I would hate to see us return to that type of logic even obliquely.

Baby safety - the safest way to install a car seat: get a professional to do it for you!

2011-01-10T14:14:00.000-08:00

When you are nine months pregnant and exhausted and trying to plow through your to-do list of things to take care of before your baby is born one of the most daunting tasks is installing a car seat. My recommendation would be to take the easiest and safest route: get a safety professional to install it for you.

Safe Kids coordinates nation-wide car-seat inspections. And by "inspection" they really mean "we will look at your pitiful attempt to install the car seat, point out 99 mistakes that you made, and then install it correctly for you."

Here is their link for locating a car seat inspection: Safe Kids Car-Seat Check-Up Locator

The San Diego Safe Kids program is run through Children's Hospital and you can call 858-576-1700 ext 5096 to set up a car seat inspection.

The staff were super friendly and helpful. The whole appointment only took 30 minutes. The staff understand that with the wide variety of cars and car seats on the market it is nearly impossible to figure out what the safest way to install a car seat is with only the little booklet the car seat manufacturer gives you and your car's manual.

Some helpful hints I learned from our car seat inspections:

the center seat is always the safest place for a car seat (in the event of a crash)
sometimes using the seat-belt to secure the car-seat is safer and more secure than using the LATCH system
if you have an SUV or station wagon with an open trunk then putting a cover over the trunk will prevent anything stored back there from potentially flying up in the air and hitting your child (really important for rear-facing babies/toddlers in the event of an accident)
Even though manufacturers give you height and weight guidelines for when you can turn a rear-facing convertible car-seat to front facing it is safest to keep the kid rear-facing for as long as they fit comfortably in that position (some background on this issue)
how to use receiving blankets to make sure a newborn fits snugly into the car seat

My understanding is that in most towns police stations or fire stations and sometimes hospitals also will inspect car seats. I think this is a great service. However, since the professionals at the Safe Kids site I went to explained that they are the ones who actually train the police/firefighters on how to do the installation I like the idea of getting my advice straight from the horse's mouth - so to speak.

Not just for infant car seats! When we switched from an infant car seat to a convertible car-seat we went back to the same inspection station and again really appreciated with how helpful they were in teaching us how to install and use the car seat.

Bare feet and strangers

2011-01-05T19:30:00.000-08:00

My son does not like socks or shoes on his feet. He will often tear the first sock off by the time I have finished putting the second sock on his other foot. We go on lots of walks with him in the stroller, and although winter in southern California is not really cold, it is cold enough that I have had a lot of strangers tell me my son's feet must be cold with a disapproving glare.

sockless, shoeless, and happily playing with his feet

So I figure there are a few ways I can handle this...

put duct tape around his feet for warmth
shop for lace up baby boots that I could then double knot
keep him in pajamas all day since they have little attached feet
not go out in public

Anyone have any better ideas?

Currently what I try to do is put on the socks and shoes and quickly cover him with a blanket and tuck the blanket in so that he has a tough time grabbing at his feet. Also I give him something to hold so that he plays with that instead of his socks/shoes. Both of these tactics usually work for about two minutes until he gets bored and flings off the blanket/toy/bottle and reaches for his feet.

All I can say is it's a big relief that I don't live somewhere really cold!

The Cardinal Rule of Family Photography

2010-12-31T11:33:00.000-08:00

So the holiday season and the gobs of photos of my son I have taken over the last week made me think of some of the problems posed by combining babies and photography.

Sadly in the process of trying to document my baby's first year of life I have discovered a very sad fact. I will call it the cardinal rule of family photography.

The Cardinal Rule of Family Photography:
The more members of the family the lower the likelihood that all family members will look sane or normal or attractive in a photo.

Before I had my baby I looked passable in about 1/10 photos taken in which I was the only subject. According to me theory in order to calculate the likelihood that everyone in your family will look decent in your photo you must multiply the denominator by # of people in the photo. So for photos of myself and my son there is a 1/20 chance that we will both look good. For photos of myself, my husband, and my son there is only a 1/30 chance that we will all look good. I don't know how people with big families ever even get everyone facing the same way, much less looking halfway attractive. My solution: stick to photos in which my baby is the only subject (this also helps alleviate guilt about not losing the post-pregnancy weight fast enough!)

I have been an avid photographer for years, and I love my Canon EOS 20D. For anyone looking to add an addiction to their lives, buying an SLR is a good place to start. For those looking to invest in a good digital camera dpreview.com has great reviews to help you select a good SLR. At some point I want to invest in a new SLR. Do any readers have suggestions of cameras they love?

Sick kids at day care=healthy kids at elementary school

2010-12-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

I am hoping that recent research which found that kids in day care get sick more often early in life, but get sick less often once they reach elementary school is going to hold true in the case of my son.

This is one of those scientific findings which sounds like pure and simple common sense. The more viruses they get exposed to earlier in life I would think they would build up better immunity. I guess it is nice to see some evidence to support this common belief. See the abstract and description of the research here.

Baby safety: finally CPSC issues a ban on drop-side cribs

2010-12-16T10:56:00.000-08:00

The one thing that all new parents are ultra paranoid about is that something somewhere somehow is going to hurt their baby. This week the Consumer Product Safety Commission banned the sale of "drop-side" cribs. The kind that allow you to move part of the crib rail down to make it easier to pick up or put down your baby. I think this ban is long overdue. Deaths from suffocation and entrapment due to the malfunction of these cribs have been reported for a long time.

CPSC image showing potential danger

Before we had our son we looked up recommendations about baby products online on Consumer Reports, and quickly found out that these drop-side cribs were considered dangerous. However, not everyone has the resources or time to thoroughly research what products they choose.

This ban on drop-side cribs leads me to the one nugget of baby safety advice that I would give new parents...
Nine times out of ten the more convenient something is for you the less safe it is for your baby.

Yes, it is a pain to have to lean over the crib railing to put your baby into his crib, and it is even more of a pain when they weigh 20 pounds. Yes, it is a pain to have to be fastidious about making sure the seat-belt in the car seat is tightened down every time you put your baby in the car. Yes, it is a hassle to put your baby in a pack n'play or crib before you run to the bathroom when odds are they will not hurt themselves in the 30 seconds you are out of sight. But do you really want to take the risk?

Another recall of Graco strollers this year was related to a strangulation hazard. I was really surprised until I read the recall notice and realized that the infants who were strangled were not buckled into the stroller so they slid down and got stuck. Back to the safety rule - more convenient for you not to have to buckle the child in the stroller, more dangerous for the child.

Crib bumpers: another safety hazard
Another safety notice regarding crib bumpers explain how these (and any other bedding, pillows, or stuffed animals in cribs can be a hazard). As far as I can tell these products are purely decorative, although they are supposedly helpful in preventing babies from getting their arms or legs stuck through the crib bars. With my son we used a breathable crib bumper, I am not sure it made a difference. Of course with him by the time he slept in his crib he could easily roll over and lift up his head. Even with the breathable bumper he still occasionally got an arm or leg stuck through the crib railing. However, I would much rather have this happen than have him somehow suffocate on fabric!

What do people think? I am sure some libertarian-minded people out there might say that parents should have the right to use whatever products they want with their child, even if they might pose a safety risk. Of course most babies who sleep in these drop-side cribs never get stuck, but I personally could not handle living with the fear that it might happen!

One Year down! Thanks to my mommy friends

2010-12-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Well my son turned one year old last week. Bye-bye baby, hello little toddler boy!

I could never have made it through this year without all the love, support, and advice I received from my friends who are also mommies (and some who are not yet mommies). So I thought I would write a blog post about how important it is as a new parent to have friends who are also parents and can understand what you are going through and provide support and advice.

Thank you to all the experienced moms (and dads) out there who take the time to help us newbies!
Thanks for your wisdom, sympathy, product reviews, long conversations, hand-me-downs, diaper changes, humor, home-cooked meals, and general camaraderie.

As one of my best friends (who is also my mommy-mentor) said to me and my husband right after my son was born "Welcome to the we don't know what the hell we are doing club". She was right, life has been wild since he was born, but it has been so much fun.

A big thank you to my mommy-mentor (she knows who she is) who has been there throughout my whole pregnancy, and the whole first year. She lets me vent to her about everything baby related and has been the source of most of the really useful advice I have received. She was the perfect person to vent to about colicky baby stress since she survived it herself! Thanks again for telling me to do the Ferber sleep training!!! Everybody with a new baby should be so lucky as to have a mommy-mentor-friend like you :)

Of course some people who are not yet or never will be parents are still the most helpful and supportive when you are in your sleep-deprived, clueless, new-parent stupor. One friend in particular brought us lots of yummy meals so that we did not have to cook much in the week after our son was born (and even when he was older and we were perfectly capable of cooking). She is going to be a mommy this spring and hopefully I can return the favor!

Thank you to everyone who helps new parents you make a huge difference!

Baby sleep and the problem of spurious correlation

2010-12-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

So if you have a newborn or even an older baby who does not sleep well you should mentally prepare yourself for an avalanche of advice from well meaning people who are only going to frustrate you.

They will tell you: All you need to do to get that baby to sleep is X.

"X" is going to vary depending on who the person is you are talking to. But X is almost always something you have tried 100 times with no success, and it tends to be things like:

swaddling
rocking/walking to sleep
white noise
night light
co-sleeping
feed baby more before bedtime (the older generation will tell you to put rice cereal in the bottle)
pacifier/no pacifier
letting baby fall asleep on your stomach

These people could be anyone: your mother-in-law, best friend, distant cousin, neighbor, check-out lady at the grocery store, etc. When I was looking for a day care provider for my son one woman I met listened to me talking about how he has trouble falling to sleep and then after a dramatic pause she told me that the secret to getting babies to sleep was putting the radio on to play static and that this worked like a charm for all four of her children. The best part was the way she revealed this secret to me as though it was the holy grail. Needless to say I was not super impressed by her and found a much better day care provider somewhere else.

In order to respond to these people in your sleep deprived state of constant frustration you might want to practice nodding your head and saying "Oh really? Thanks so much for the good advice. I will definitely try that." If you are a truly sarcastic person then you can even add, "Wow, I've never heard of that idea before! I'm so glad I talked to you!"

Warning: this post represents my personal opinion and I should re-state what I believe is the cardinal rule of babies: Every baby is different. That said maybe some babies do transform from bad sleepers to good sleepers after doing something simple like swaddling them. I think it is always worth trying new things and taking advice from more experienced parents, but if following their advice is not working, then keep reading this post.

Here is the problem, all these people are assuming that the reason their babies slept like little angels is because of X (their intervention of choice). In my not so professional opinion babies sleep well for one of three reasons:

disposition - in other words you got lucky and gave birth to a baby who is a better sleeper and is better at "self soothing" from the get go
age - all babies gradually get better at sleeping as they age and learn the difference between night and day and eventually learn how to soothe themselves to sleep
training/learning - some babies can become better sleepers earlier and faster if you do some consistent sleep training (although this should never be done during the newborn period)

If you have a newborn (0-3 months) the reason they are sleeping well is probably neither age nor training because they are too young for these to be causes. The reason they are sleeping well is that you baby was destined to be a better sleeper. Not sure what other mamas experienced, but I should have known from the first night with my son in the hospital that we were in for a very bumpy road as far as sleeping was concerned.

So why do all these well-intentioned people honestly believe that X is the secret to success?

In statistics this phenomenon is called spurious correlation. The idea is that everything has a cause and effect, but sometimes we erroneously think the cause is B, when in fact it is actually A.

Example:
We notice that when people eat a lot of ice-cream (B) there seems to be a lot of riots/street violence (C) and we assume an increase in the eating of ice cream causes an increase in riots. (example courtesy of Professor David Phillips)

What is really happening? There is a third variable that we are failing to consider: summer time. When it is hot people eat more ice cream. When it is hot and students are out of school and the days are longer people are more likely to riot.

So we think B causes C (ice cream causes riots), but in reality A causes B and A causes C (summer time causes an increase in both ice cream consumption and riots).

Okay seems like a sort of silly example and the cynical reader will be thinking that anyone with a brain knows that ice cream does not cause riots. Correct, cynical reader. So lets give one more quick example.

It is commonly assumed that exercise (B) causes people to be healthier (C). Is this true? Maybe not. There is a third variable (A) health. Confused yet? Health can be both a cause and effect. It works like this. If you are healthier to begin with, then you are more likely to have the time and energy for exercise. So being healthier causes you to exercise more. Being healthy early in your life causes your to be healthy later in your life. Real life is full of confusing and messy examples of spurious correlation and knowing about this phenomenon might make you think differently about the world. For example is it intelligence and hard work that leads people to succeed in life? This is the meritocracy argument. Or could there be other factors that lead people to succeed (i.e. socioeconomic status, education, cultural background, circumstances). For an interesting and easy to read analysis of this issue read Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers.

So let's get back to baby sleep. Your mother-in-law/friend/cousin tells you that swaddling (B) causes her baby to sleep like an angel (C). So there is some correlation between swaddling and sleeping happily. I am arguing that in most cases it is the babies disposition (A) that is causing them to sleep like an angel (C).

At my son's 2 month doctor appointment when our doctor was explaining to us how our son fit the typical description of "colic" he told us about the latest theory of what causes colic. Colic basically occurs when a baby's brain has not developed enough to "self soothe". In other words babies are not born knowing how to calm themselves down. Just like adults babies wake up many times during the night. However as adults we do not even realize that we wake up and we generally just slip back into a deeper sleep. Most newborns will cry and rely on parents to help them get back to sleep. Like adults, babies fall on a spectrum and some are just born with less of the type of brain development that allows them to soothe themselves back to sleep once they wake up. One reason I am convinced that this theory makes sense is the fact that colicky babies seem to need the same high level of parental intervention during the day and non-sleeping hours (as opposed to what my good friend calls "plop down babies").

We may never understand exactly why some babies adjust to sleeping better or earlier than others but if you understand the logic of spurious correlation at the very least you should now know not to blame yourself if your baby is having trouble sleeping. Those mamas with the happily sleeping babies are not better parents than you. It may even be the case that some of those parents will come to you for advice when they have their second or third child and suddenly they are doing all the same things they did with the first kid, but this baby won't sleep. So when they come to you for advice and they are totally miserable from sleep deprivation you have two choices. You can tell them "All you need to do is X and your baby will sleep like an angel", or you can tell them the truth. I know what I would do :)

Ways to save $: Baby resale/consignment shops

2010-12-02T15:35:00.000-08:00

Baby "suit" from a resale

Baby resale shops are a great way to save $ on baby clothes and other nursery items. Everything these stores sell is totally clean and sometimes it is even new and still has tags on it. I have bought clothes, bibs, pack n play sheets, and toys, at these shops and found some great deals.

For example, I found a baby "suit" from Nordstrom with the tags still on that was originally $100 and I bought it for $15. My son wore it to a friend's wedding and looked adorable.

My son wearing his penguin shirt - another resale shop find.

San Diego area stores:
Only Kidding

3619 Midway Drive #E, San Diego, CA 92110

great little store in a great location

BabyGoRound Resale
10330 Friars Rd., San Diego, CA 92120
smaller store but good selection of clothes

Baby Trader
5282 Baltimore Dr., La Mesa, CA 91942
bigger store and lots of accessories, toys, gear

Forget Me Not
5005 Cass St., San Diego, CA 92109
have not been here yet? have any readers?

If you are shopping for bigger baby gear items (strollers, swings, high chairs) I would skip baby consignment shops, most people sell bigger items on Craigslist these days.

Why babies are like cats

2010-11-27T16:26:00.000-08:00

Has anyone else noticed that babies are a lot like house cats?
Here are some similarities I have observed. Both my baby and my cat...

love playing with paper and magazines
love plastic bags
love cardboard boxes
sometimes give love bites
are fascinated by computer keyboards
cry/meow
love to sleep on mama
wake you up in the wee hours of the morning
want love on their terms: when you want to hold them they don't want to be held and when you are incredibly busy they decide they want to be on your lap
sleep a lot :)

Has anybody noticed any other similarities? I am currently dogless, but would be interested to hear if dog owners notice that their babies remind them of their dogs and vice versa...

Babyproofing for the lazy parent

2010-11-23T14:42:00.000-08:00

Babyproofing the easy way

Instructions: Take all the cleaning products and possibly toxic items and put them on top of a very tall dresser.

I am hoping this will work until my son is tall enough to reach the top of the dresser; so I have about ten years. I will eventually get those cabinet lock thingamahoochies installed, but for now this is good enough.

Now if I can just find a way to prevent my son from slamming his fingers in all the drawers in the house, sticking his hands in the toilet, and trying to eat the cat's food.

The newborn sleep saga

2010-11-20T09:15:00.000-08:00

Baby sleep involves a lot of trial and error. For the first four months of my son's life we tried absolutely everything to get him to sleep and the only things that consistently worked were:

walking while carrying him until he fell asleep (easiest while babywearing)
breastfeeding to sleep (breastfeeding lying down)

Babywearing: sleeping peacefully in a ring sling.

Even using these tactics it was pretty common for us to spend around 20-45 minutes trying to get my son to sleep, only to have him wake up bawling after a 20 minute cat nap. For the first month of his life it was actually a little bit easier to get him to sleep than it was later on when the colic/high-needs baby tendencies became really pronounced (more on the colic vs. high-needs babies concept in a later post).

Places my baby slept in the first four months:

Sleeping happily in the bouncer

bouncer that vibrated (swaddled and buckled in)
swing (swaddled and buckled in)
attached to mom or dad (via sling, wrap, or other carrier)
in bed co-sleeping with us
in a rocker right next to our bed

Places my baby never slept in the first four months:

his beautiful new crib (not once)
the pack n play right next to our bed
in his car seat (or if he did it was only after some serious screaming)

So here's what I learned about baby sleep through my epic endless sleepless nights:

It will get better... eventually. If it does not get better on its own by the time your baby is four or five months old try sleep training. I know every night seems like it lasts a lifetime, but in the grand scheme of things you are only going to have to deal with this for a few months.
Every baby is different: If you have a baby that sleeps well be thankful and try not to brag about it to the rest of us. If you have a baby who has trouble sleeping try thinking of sleep as a war, every night is a battle and sometimes you lose the battle, but you will eventually win the war, after all how many eighteen year olds still need their parents to rock them to sleep?
Teamwork: if you have a partner share parenting duties at night. In our household my husband took the late night shift and I took the early morning shift. This way at least you can guarantee that you each get some uninterrupted sleep.

Bottom line: Even newborns that have the most horrific sleep schedules known to man (e.g. my son) can turn into good sleepers. After some sleep training when he was four months old my son started sleeping for 7-8 hours at a time before waking up, and napping longer during the day. Although we have rough nights when he is sick or teething I have to say he is now a much better sleeper than his mama!

Flip video camera - the perfect gift for new parents

2010-11-15T09:33:00.000-08:00

Before my son was born we bought a Flip video camera and it is by far the best purchase we made in preparation for our baby's arrival.

If you have family who live far away and really want to see how your baby grows up then this item is the best thing you can buy. Better yet put it on your baby registry and get the parents/grandparents to buy it for you since they are going to benefit from it once you post your videos online on Picasa or Vimeo.

Compared to the old video camera I remember my family using in the 1980s which weighed twenty pounds, required tapes and made videos which were really difficult to view on the TV, new video cameras are heavenly. Of course lots of phones and digital cameras come with some video functionality, but if you want a separate video camera the Flip is an obvious choice.

Reasons why I love it:

tiny: just a little bigger than my phone, fits in any pocket or purse without taking up space
easy to use: it only takes about two seconds to turn this on and start recording
easy uploading: the USB connection allows you to easily connect to a computer and upload
great video quality: we own the HD version of the camera and it the video is very high resolution
storage space: we own the mino HD with 4GB and 60 minutes of video time and this is plenty

Boys are everywhere in 2009/2010. Is this a statistical fluke or a conspiracy?

2010-11-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

Many of my friends are either currently pregnant or had a baby last year. And they almost all seem to be having boys! There were a few adorable girls born among my circle of friends but it seems like the boys way outnumber the girls, so my question is... Is this a random fluke that is just occurring in my circle of friends and acquaintances, or is this a conspiracy cooked up to prevent women from taking over the world?

At my last count of people who are either currently pregnant or recently had a baby these are the stats:
Boys: 14
Girls: 4

What was even weirder was that the childbirth class I went to right before our son was born had about 20 couples, only 2 of whom were having girls. The breastfeeding support group I went to right after my son was born was also heavily skewed toward boys, with maybe 9 boys and 3 girls on most occasions that I was there.

Am I just living in a boy-bubble?
Am I just noticing boys more now that I have a son?
Or are boys really conspiring to take over the world?

Teething? grab a spatula

2010-11-05T17:42:00.000-07:00

My baby does have a couple "teething ring" type products. But his favorite teething object is a regular rubber spatula from my kitchen. This has become his spatula and he loves to chomp on it. So before you go buy something for your baby to chew on try rummaging around the kitchen. When he was younger he also loved chewing on wash cloths or burp cloths (wet or dry). Of course before the first teeth come in it is fine and dandy and even cute to chew on mom and dad's fingers and hands, but that is a habit you want to end after the sharp teeth arrive.

We do have a couple of official teething rings, like this Nuby teether, and a Munchkin teething ring. But I think they were a waste of money.

Someone wise once told me that babies love kitchen things. Tupperware or plastic containers with soft rubber edges also work really well for teething. My baby also loves empty plastic bottles or plastic drinking cups. Of course a lot of kitchen objects are just downright dangerous for babies. What other kitchen things can double as toys?

Baby playmats - protection for baby's head and mama's bottom

2010-10-29T16:03:00.000-07:00

During the learning to sit, crawl, stand, and walk phases there are lots of falls and banged heads. But we were able to minimize the damage by putting a big blue playmat over the area of our hardwood floor where our son usually plays. We found these play mats at ToysRUs, but we later noticed that Costco carried some similar interlocking flooring meant for garages that was even cheaper. Amazon.com also sells lots of versions of these playmats, many in prettier colors or designs.

ToyRUs play mat

As a bonus my husband and I both think that these floor pads are super comfortable for parents who spend a lot of time sitting on the floor with infants. They also work really well as exercise mats as they are more cushiony than most yoga mats. As you can see our baby likes practicing his yoga on these mats too!

Yoga baby practicing downward dog pose on his play mat

Babywearing - a lifesaver for parents with newborns

2010-10-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

If I had to pick a single thing that made my life easier during my son's newborn phase it would be owning a good baby carrier and using it all the time: babywearing

If you have ever tried to do basic things (i.e. talk on the phone) while holding a newborn then you understand how babies can turn even the most simple tasks into juggling acts. While babywearing even relatively advanced tasks such as eating a meal, typing emails, and going to the bathroom can be performed with ease. Babywearing is often the fastest way to get newborns to fall asleep; they love being held tight against you and walked around. Once asleep you can either keep them in the carrier or very carefully take them out and lie them down somewhere else.

If you are going shopping and have a baby who hates being in the carseat or stroller then toss that baby into a carrier and shop while he peacefully sleeps. I can not tell you how many times I have been out on errands and women (generally older women) would come up to me and tell me how wonderful it was that I was wearing my baby and how they wish that they had carriers like that when they had their children.

Seven months old and still loving the ring sling

Here is a list of the baby carriers I have used:

Moby wrap - great for newborns although it takes a day or two or practicing to figure out how to use it. One of my best friends and mommy mentors recommended this and it was a life saver!
Sweet Pea Ring Sling - unfortunately I did not buy this until my son was around 3 months old but I think it would have been excellent for him as a newborn. However, it was not a favorite with my husband - too girlie for him to wear.
Balboa - Dr Sears Sling - this was probably my least favorite of our carriers, but we used it a lot because we bought it before we discovered the ring sling or the Ergo. It was good for getting our baby to sleep for naps/night time.
Ergo baby carrier - after our son was about 4 months old this became the primary carrier we used, it is very very comfortable when carrying older/heavier babies and my husband likes wearing it! In fact we have one photo of him wearing it that I think the Ergo people should include in their catalog.

Ergo action shot, hood over sleeping baby's head.

If you have a baby that is "colicky" or "high needs" (more on this topic later) then I would make the argument that a good baby carrier is worth its weight in gold. For a long time the only way my son would nap for more than twenty minutes at a time was if he was in a baby carrier and attached to one of his parents. Even if you have your run of the mill non-colicky baby I think most babies are happier being carried especially as newborns so a baby carrier can make for a happier baby which makes for a happier mom and a happier family.

Here is the formula: happy baby = happy mom = happy family!

Websites with great information on babywearing options:

Co-sleeping: the fears and the reality

2010-10-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

It was apparent from our very first night in the hospital with my son that he was only really comfortable sleeping in bed with mama. For the first four months of his life we went through a whole slew of approaches to sleep (more on this in a later post), but the only way I could guarantee he would fall asleep (and stay asleep) was if he was lying in bed next to me and breastfeeding until he fell asleep.

I resisted co-sleeping for a couple weeks after he was born. The reasons why I was reluctant are mostly what I consider the common fears new mamas have about co-sleeping:

Fears

fear of rolling over onto baby
fear of baby falling off bed
fear of smothering baby with blankets
fear of SIDS

All I can say in hindsight is that these fears were basically a result of my inexperience with newborns. Here is my response to these fears after co-sleeping with my newborn for a few months:

Reality

As a new mother you have a heightened awareness of what your baby is doing, even when both of you are asleep. This phenomenon is hard to understand until it happens to you. There was no chance I was going to roll over onto the baby (although dads don't always have the same sense of where the baby is in bed, so sometimes this can pose a problem). If anything it was sometimes harder for me to sleep because of new mother anxiety and because every little sound or move my son made would wake me up at first.
Newborns do not roll. They can wriggle a little bit (what my husband and I called the B.P.S. "baby propulsion system") but this does not get them very far. Most newborns sleep swaddled and most mamas wake up as soon as baby starts making sounds or moving so there is very little chance they could launch themselves off a bed (of course with older babies this changes). Of course the obvious preventative measure is just to put baby in the middle of the bed.
I used to worry my baby would not be able to breathe if the blankets got pushed up against his face, this never happened. By far the bigger problem is that if the blankets get over the baby the baby might get overheated and then wake up and wake you up. Some people go so far as to remove all blankets and pillows from the bed, I took a halfway approach and just pushed the blankets down to my waist.
the fear of SIDS is harder to explain away since people really do not know what causes SIDS. All I can say is that I felt much better with my son right next to me where I knew I would wake up immediately if he was in distress than I would have felt if he were in another room. Proponents of co-sleeping like Dr. Sears suggest that the risk of SIDS actually goes down with co-sleeping, see this explanation. Check out the AskDrSears.com website for some great advice on co-sleeping and how to do it safely.

A lesson that I learned quickly: newborn babies are well equipped with alarm systems, if they are uncomfortable or in distress they let you know loudly. When I talked to nurses and my pediatrician about co-sleeping they all said that as long as I took basic safety precautions (don't put baby near edge of bed, etc.) it was fine to co-sleep and that in their experience most mothers (especially those who were breastfeeding) did co-sleep at some point.

There is so much more to say about co-sleeping, for example how it really improved both baby and mama's sleep, and when and why we decided to stop co-sleeping - the topic of future blog posts.

So that is my two cents. Any other mamas want to chime in with their perspective on co-sleeping? Please leave a comment.

Baby Apps: Baby ESP (Eat, Sleep, Poop)

2010-10-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

So if you are going to spend $ on an app for your mobile phone to track what your baby is doing Baby ESP gives you a lot of bang for your buck at $3.99. And if you are frugal or tentative then try the trial version for free. I used it on my Android phone for about three months and if you are either generally obsessive about your baby, very forgetful, or trying to track your routine then this is the app for you.

What Baby ESP looks like on your phone.

It is easy to use and although I was really only using it to track my son's sleep and nap schedule it has a lot more features. For the truly detail oriented parent you can track nursing times (how long on each side), bottles (how many ounces, how long baby took to drink), diapers (wet and poopy), sleep (naps, night time sleep), medicine your baby is taking, etc. You can also add custom reminders or custom events. For a while I was tracking how long my baby was crying before he fell asleep and seeing the number of minutes crying go down every day was very comforting.

All of your information can be exported to spreadsheets and email and you can see weekly or monthly averages amongst other features. I am sure there are even more functions, but these are just the few that I discovered.

So if like me you were/are actually writing things down the old-fashioned way with a paper and pencil and would like to ditch that early 20th century technology, Baby ESP is for you.

As a bonus using this app consistently was one way that I was able to track just how miserable my son's sleep schedule was until he was four months old and how much his sleep improved (increase in length of time asleep and decrease in length of time before falling asleep) after we did some sleep training when he was four months old - the topic for a future post on sleep training Ferber style.

Anyone else know of other good baby apps or have some feedback on Baby ESP? If so please leave comments...

Rings Toys - Sometimes cheaper is better

2010-10-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

Okay I admit my frugal inner-self was pleased that my son's favorite toys are the cheapest baby toys that you can buy - those dinky plastic rings. From about 2 months old to 6 months old these were my son's favorite things ever.

However my more superficial self was a little miffed that I spent money on toys that he would not deign to play with at all. Now that he is a bit older he is finally paying attention to the fancier toys, including all sorts of nice toys his grandparents and aunts gave him as gifts, but for any new parent I would suggest getting a couple sets of the rings. You can find them at Target or BabiesRUs and a lot of drug stores have them in the baby section.

You can link them together, hang other toys from them, link them to the stroller for the baby to play with while you are on a walk, or hand them to him when you put him in the car seat so that he has something to play with while you drive. They are basically indestructible, good for teething, and my son always seemed to derive a lot of pleasure from pulling a big chain of rings apart into separate pieces.

Breastfeeding Lying Down - if you are not already doing this stop reading and try it now!

2010-10-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

Breastfeeding = Good for newborn babies
Lying down = Good for new moms
Breastfeeding + Lying down = Happy family!

If you are breastfeeding a newborn baby there is only one thing I know for certain about you - you are exhausted. So if you have not already discovered that you can breastfeed lying down stop what you are doing now and go try it. If you are tired of having to find your Boppy pillow or Brest Friend pillow or tired of arranging pillows behind your back and a footstool at your feet before you can be comfortable for the 45 minutes or more that it takes your baby to nurse then breastfeeding lying down is for you.

I figured out the breastfeeding lying down out of desperation when my son was around 2 weeks old. Like most new parents I was terrified that if I lay down and fell asleep I might roll onto my baby or something else unforeseen but catastrophic might happen. Then one night as I was literally fighting to stay awake while sitting up feeding my son it occurred to me that it was far more likely that I would fall asleep while sitting up feeding him and he might topple off my lap.

So I held him in my arms cradle style and let him nurse and slowly lay down on the bed, and lo and behold he kept eating happily while I lay down in pure bliss and soon after we were both peacefully asleep. Here is where I should insert a warning:

Warning: breastfeeding lying down may lead to co-sleeping or at the very least co-napping (see more below).

So here is what you need to do:

lie down on your side on your bed and pull down your bra
place your baby parallel to you on his side with his mouth level to your nipple and pull him close (sometimes both of your bodies end up in a bit more of a "V" position)

If your baby has figured out how to latch on the rest will be happen. No really it is that simple. Now there are some tips for newborns that might make it even easier for you.

I usually ended up with my lower arm perpendicular to my body above my son's head and my upper arm resting on my hips
a pillow behind your back makes mama even more comfortable (the body pillow I used during pregnancy worked perfectly here), a rolled receiving blanket behind your newborn's back might help keep him on his side
I would feed my son on one side then get up change his diaper, swaddle him, and then lay down on the other side after which we would both fall asleep

It is so easy that I was in a state of mild shock when I went to a breastfeeding support group when my son was about a month old and out of about ten moms I was the only person there who was breastfeeding lying down. Maybe it is because all the other women had those comfy rocker/gliders for breastfeeding, but what could be as comfortable as sleeping while your baby eats?

A note about breastfeeding lying down on a bed and safety. In order to keep my son in the middle of the bed instead of flipping him over me to feed on the other side I would just get up and walk around to the other side of the bed. Alternatively some mamas are able to simply lean over a little more to feed baby from both breasts while laying on the same side. As a first time mom I was always worried about my son somehow falling off the bed, but he did not roll until he was four months old and being swaddled it was pretty hard for him to move anywhere so this was a little paranoid on my part.

My baby is now ten months old and we still both enjoy breastfeeding lying down (sometimes called the "side lying position"). When he wakes up at 4am I go into his room and lie down on the twin size bed we have in there (he lies on the inside against the wall) and I feed him until he is full and sleepy again. It is also how I feed him first thing in the morning, although the rest of the day he is too rambunctious to spend very long nursing.

Advice for insomniacs - co-napping is for you!

If you were an insomniac before your baby was born chances are even the sleep deprivation of new parenthood has not made it better. I think it makes it worse. When my son was tiny every sound he made would wake me up and it would often take me thirty or forty minutes to fall asleep, by which time he was just waking up. I truly resented the people who said casually “just nap when the baby naps” as if I had overlooked this obvious idea.

However, breastfeeding lying down was my saving grace. Supposedly breastfeeding releases hormones that relax both mother and baby and make you sleepy. In my case this seemed to be true. I fell asleep easily if I just timed my naps with the breastfeeding sessions. It was heaven!

As with all blog posts, I would love to hear comments or questions from readers. I firmly believe that every baby is different and what worked for me might not work for others. The one thing my son really took to like a duck to water was breastfeeding so I would like to hear how breastfeeding lying down works for others.

Here are some good websites with resources on breastfeeding positioning and general help:

kellymom.com: latch-on and positioning help

askdrsears.com: see "side-lying" under breast feeding positions

Photos of what breastfeeding lying down looks like at mother-2-mother.com

The Yucky Bib Problem

2010-10-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

I have heard of babies who can eat a meal without needing a bib during and a bath afterwards. Like most babies, my son is not one of these mythical creatures. When we are done with a meal the high chair and the kitchen look like the scene of a epic food fight. At his day care one of his “friends” crawls around the base of the high chair when he eats trying to catch all the food he lets fall or throws down.

He started “eating” around 6 months and we tried bib after bib in order to minimize the mess. Early on we realized we needed one with a big pocket to catch all the foppings (food + droppings). However, anything with cloth on it seemed to get grungy and mildew no matter how quickly I washed it. Even bibs that seemed to be rubber or plastic, but had a little cloth around the neckline became foul in no time.

Then we found the answer to our bib prayers at BabiesRUs: something entirely made of rubbery material. It is indestructible and easy to clean. It is a bib made by Tommee Tippee.

Now if I could only find a system for managing the food that our son hurls onto the floor. A dog would be the perfect solution! But we have agreed that 2 large humans, 1 small human, and 1 arrogant cat is quite enough for our modest sized condo. Now if we ever get a house with a yard a visit to the humane society to find a canine friend will be on our to do list.

So at least for now the bib problem is alleviated, or I should say the meal-time bib problem. We have another drool related bib dilemma still unsolved, but that is a topic for another post: the saga of the drooly baby.

Comments are always welcome, if anyone knows of a better bib please tell me about it!